It’s been a quiet year since graduating college. And if you told me in the months leading up to graduation what life would look like now, I don’t know that I would have believed you. It’s not because life is crazy, but because honestly, life has been status quo and at times mundane.
In college, my schedule was packed most of the time: classes, weekly meetings of different sorts, babysitting, event planning, group leading, spontaneous adventures and everyday living with people, etc. The funny thing is: none of that comes with you after graduation. I knew that. But now I’ve lived it too.
I started a new job, moved, and found a parish. But I’m not super busy anymore.
As someone who was so used to being busy, it was and still is strange to come home from work and have nothing that absolutely must be done. It’s freeing in a way: I’ve read so much, explored creative things, gotten a bike, taken group exercise classes, killed some plants and kept others alive. But it’s also terrible. I feel a responsibility to spend my time well and give back to the world, which is easier said than done – because hello, where do you start?
When you graduate and are starting life all over again, having a world of possibilities is empowering but also frustrating. Yes, the sky’s the limit. But where do you start? I’ve tried out lots of things and have met great people since graduating. But it’s just different. And I haven’t found exactly the things to commit to yet.
I’m learning to be okay with that.
This is a time not everyone gets in their life, and really I am grateful to breath in the stillness of hikes and read and cook and work on myself. I count it as an accomplishment that I’ve grown comfortable being by myself (in a healthy way) and finding new things to try out. People say kids need to be bored to spark their creativity and imagination – is it true for adults too? Seems like it. I’ve been thinking and writing so many posts in my head to share. Maybe one day I’ll remember to!
My faith is so important to me, and the gospel from last Sunday had me thinking: it was the story of the seeds sown in different areas and how you need fertile ground for seeds to grow and thrive. Do I hear and understand God’s word and take action because of it? Do I nurture and prioritize the most important things in life? Yes, I know the power of God’s love at the capacity I can understand it right now. Have I let that soak into every part of me and radically change the way I live?
. . . a challenging question for us all to ask.
I have no idea what life will bring, but I do know the future is in the hands of a God who’s got my back.
There’s so much I could write and rage about, but really – what else matters? I mean, there’s a lot that matters and we can’t be apathetic. But this time is giving me space to read and learn and grow and seek and find what’s really most important in life. It’s been the perfect time to read Cardinal Sarah’s book The Power of Silence. He Says:
“Without noise, man is feverish, lost. Noise gives him security, like a drug on which he has become dependent. With its festive appearance, noise is a whirlwind that avoids facing itself. Agitation becomes a tranquilizer, a sedative, a morphine pump . . .this noise is a dangerous, deceptive, medicine, a diabolic lie that helps man avoid confronting himself”
Did you need a truth bomb? Because Cardinal Sarah has you covered. I want to come back to that thought and really challenge myself to use this time well: confronting what needs to be, giving how I can, working hard, and finding God in the stillness that can be so annoying.
Have you experienced a season of life like this? I’d love to hear about it!