Garden Update – June 5th

Welcome to my first real garden! In the past several years, I’ve tried growing various plants in pots, on an apartment deck, balcony, and even inside. Most attempts have been fairly unsuccessful, so the prospect of growing things in our own yard after buying a house was so exciting! Flowers are one of my favorite things in nature (our roses need their own post), but I also wanted to try my hand at growing actual food sources.

Our property is nearly a quarter acre , but much of that is a large front yard, and a concrete RV pad in the back. The grass area in the back yard looked like bare dirt when we moved in, but turns out there was some dormant grass, and we planted more new grass. We dug up part of that area to transform into the garden. It was a lot of work using a hand-tilling tool, which was needed to really break up the neglected earth and remove all the spring weeds. The soil is full of worms and bugs, which hopefully means it is rich and ready to grow things!

After clearing the dirt, I was left with a perfect rectangle of a garden space. We added bison manure, and then I planted probably a bit too ambitiously. I realized after the fact that things are way too close to each other, which is a lesson learned and motivation to create larger garden areas next year. I love the natural beauty of nature, and the satisfaction of hard work paying off. It is constantly changing, so I decided to document the progress a bit.

Without further ado, please enjoy this little tour of my humble first attempt at a garden.

My thoughtful husband came home from work one day, having stopped and purchased 12 tomato plants. I am SO excited to see what they might produce. Tell me all your favorite ways to use tomatoes! I love bruschetta (on homemade sourdough!) and salsa the most. All the tomato plants have flowers and are growing noticeably everyday. They’re early girls, and indeterminate, so could grow rather large. Hoping the cages help contain them! You can see to the left of the shed and along the fence how amazingly weeds do in our yard. That’s pretty much what we had to clear for this space.

Between the tomato rows, I planted two rows of carrots, realizing after that fact I have no idea how I’ll crawl around to reach them in the tomato jungle. Haha! I love how their growth is distinctly carrot-looking.

Also among the tomatoes: lots of basil and marigolds. Some creature sampled the basil today, unfortunately. I hope some makes it!

More marigolds on the other end. Aren’t the cute? The squirrels are rather bold around here, and I hope they don’t steal all the tomatoes. Maybe the marigolds will help? Any advice for protecting gardens from squirrels is welcome.

2 out of 5 summer squash germinated and are looking great! The seedlings I started inside became leggy and all died when transplanted.

Out of many cucumber seeds, we have one looking good, and another . . . slightly chewed? I’ll be curious to see if we end up having any fruit out of these. All the inside seedlings died too!

You can see a few groupings of jalapeno seedlings, going straight back from the sign (if you can find them with the random grass). You might have to play I-SPY to find the two marigold (?) and basil patches. Those must have been the last of the seeds I randomly planted, because I did not mark them and forgot I had planted them! A pleasant surprise.

Probably the most aesthetically pleasing part are the rows of spinach and arugula. Hoping some delicious summer salads are in our future!

This is an interesting study in a plant’s need for sunlight. The three outer zucchini were started indoors, became very leggy (I think due to lack of sunlight), and somehow survived outside so far. The one in the middle was directly sown outside. You can see how much healthier it looks! We have four other leggy ones and two outdoor-sown plants, and it will be interesting to see which ones survive. If I start seeds indoors again, they would need a grow light.

We planted this rosemary bush a while back, and it is loving the heat! It reminds me of an octopus how it is growing out. Beyond it are three rows of zinnias.

This baby blackberry start came from a neighbor (through our local Buy Nothing group, which is awesome!!). The main stalks are doing well after the transplant, and the smaller stalks seem to be dying off. The main ones are forming berries!

Lastly, here is a hilarious little sidekick of the garden. As we were preparing to move, a couple onions got too old in the pantry and sprouted. After a brief google search, I determined that yes, they could be planted. So I saved them. It was probably a couple months before I got them into the ground. They seem to be forming seed heads, so we’ll see what happens with those.

If you read this far, congratulations on making it! Working on the garden has been so life-giving to me lately. I usually take time over my lunch break to go pull weeds, water, and check on things – a perk to working from home. Our last frost date is around May 10th here in Idaho, which felt really late to get seeds in the ground! But I’d rather they be later than have all died. I started getting things in the garden 3 weeks ago, and did it gradually, so this is just 2-3 weeks of like for everything.

That’s it for now. Tell me all your favorite things to grow, and any tips you’ve learned!

Hello Again and Life Changes

My life changed fundamentally on June 25th, 2022, when I walked into a church as a single woman and walked out as a wife.

Like many young women, I had saved wedding ideas on Pinterest years ago, dreamed of the details, and been confident in God calling me to marriage.

Well. I graduated college without ever going on a date, which wasn’t a conscious choice, but simply the ways things turned out. A wedding soon after graduation wasn’t to be, but I did connect with my future husband just before graduating.

We met on Catholic Match, a somewhat joking experiment on my part due to the fact of not graduating with a MRS. As a new member, it shows your profile to lots of people, and I found the onslaught of messages from various men to be terribly unimpressive overall. I wanted real conversation, not an emoji from a stranger saying he’d prayed for me. As it turns out, my now-husband was one of those first men I connected with, and one of very few who could hold an interesting conversation. He happened to be the only one who naturally moved the conversation offline, exchanging phone numbers and progressing into real life communication. Things were going well, but I was a bit overwhelmed with my new job and adjusting to its steep learning curve and everything immediate post-college real life holds. Because of that, I told him it wasn’t the right time, and he respected that.

[Side note: do I regret this? Honestly, it’s hard to say. In theory, yes, having a few more years together would have been amazing, but we both grew significantly in the years before we reconnected. I wouldn’t have planned it this way, but God works in mysterious ways.]

In the following few years, he checked back in a couple times. We eventually rekindled our connection starting in fall of 2018. I figured I had nothing to lose by responding and seeing what might happened. We met in person in January 2019, and the rest is history.

Our engagement was 7 months long (minus a day), which I thought was a practically perfect amount of time. It was quick enough that we had to get moving on plans and not dilly dally debating napkin colors. It was just long enough to get the important things done, and get ready for the biggest life change ever.

Our formal marriage prep left lots to be desired, a common occurrence I knew to expect, so we had read books and done what we could to form a solid foundation together. It turns out that I really don’t think a perfect program can exist. Marriage is about embracing your vocation and choosing to love one another in the highs and lows of life, which I think depends far more on your personal character than any tips a program might share. The work of preparing to share your life completely, and growing in character and virtue, should be part of “preparation” in everyone’s life, from childhood, regardless of what vocational path you end up following.

As we approached our wedding day, I felt as if I were wearing blinders like a racing horse. Packing to move states, for a honeymoon, working full time, all the last-minute preparations, and then living out of a suitcase for a while was a lot. But it was all worth it. Family members were so good about helping with the details. I probably delegated too much and forgot about things, but it really didn’t matter in the long run.

Our wedding day was one of the most peaceful days of my life. While many brides end up feeling frazzled and stressed, I cannot recall ever feeling so focused and confident. Every part of my life God had guided me through had prepared me to step into this new chapter. At 28, I know I was still young (and below the average age of brides in the US), but there were years I wondered if the right kind of man would come into my life. He did, and it was the most gloriously surreal day knowing that we never had to say goodbye again.

I wore this necklace with a mustard seed inside, which I chose intentionally because it reminded me of the verse “If you have faith the size of a mustard seed, you will say to this mountain, ‘Move from here to there,’ and it will move; and nothing will be impossible for you.” [Matthew 17:20]. Finding a good husband in today’s world did seem to be an impossible feat, at times. But here we are, almost a year after our wedding. Miracles still happen!

Marriage is everything they say it is, and more: the best adventure, sanctifying at times, joyful, hard, unifying. It magnifies everything: the joy we can experience, and the challenges. I think it can be challenging because it forces you to face your own faults in unique ways when you know someone so well (unless you ignore things and live as roommates, but who wants that?). Of course, it adds so much to your life, too. More than I could put into words! Everything is more and deeper when it is shared. There is nothing like it. And as we’ve settled in, I have the utmost confidence that this is exactly what God made me for.

There is so much I could say, that has been mulling around in my mind. I write because it is a good way to process life, and living far from family members now, it might be a fun way to keep people up to date. Plus, I’m working on a garden and think it would be fun to document things like that. I make no promises about writing regularly, but for now, I hope you’ve enjoyed this little update. Until next time!

Okay, last thing: this is an excellent little word from Pope Benedict XVI, which we put on the back of our Nuptial Mass program:

My dear young friends, I want to invite you to “dare to love”. Do not desire anything less for your life than a love that is strong and beautiful and that is capable of making the whole of your existence a joyful undertaking of giving yourselves as a gift to God and your brothers and sisters, in imitation of the One who vanquished hatred and death for ever through love.

Love is the only force capable of changing the heart of the human person and of all humanity, by making fruitful the relations between men and women, between rich and poor, between cultures and civilizations.
. . .
Each one of us, my dear friends, has been given the possibility of reaching this same level of love, but only by having recourse to the indispensable support of divine Grace.

Only the Lord’s help will allow us to keep away from resignation when faced with the enormity of the task to be undertaken. It instills in us the courage to accomplish that which is humanly inconceivable.

Above all, the Eucharist is the great school of love. When we participate regularly and with devotion in Holy Mass, when we spend a sustained time of adoration in the presence of Jesus in the Eucharist, it is easier to understand the length, breadth, height and depth of his love that goes beyond all knowledge.

Have any questions about our wedding details you’d like to know? How’s life? Ever been to Idaho? Tell me in the comments!

Five habits for highly peaceful Catholics

Peace. Isn’t that the elusive thing we’re all after? It’s sometimes a feeling of satisfaction, or the act of letting go. You can’t necessarily make it happen for yourself, but I am convinced that most us are regularly doing things that hinder our ability to feel at peace. Know what I’m talking about? It’s the restless feeling after scrolling for too long. The afternoons when you’ve been going nonstop and suddenly realize you forgot to eat. Or maybe it’s the crushing weight of all the problems in the world riding on your shoulders.

We might know intellectually that God is the Prince of Peace, that his plans are good, and that so many things in the world aren’t actually that important. But do we live like that? How do we concretely combat that feeling of restlessness and truly be at peace resting in the knowledge that God is with us?

Here are several basic ways we can cultivate peace in our everyday lives. I am no expert, so these are as much personal goals for myself as they are my recommendations for you.

Read the rest of my piece on our monthly topic of peace over at Everyday Ediths.

Death and life and why I’m staying Catholic

It’s been weeks since we learned about (formerly Cardinal) McCarrick, and long enough since the Pennsylvania grand jury report was released that the initial shock has dissipated. But now we have letters and statements and accusations renewing our dismay. My response to big events is often clear and immediate. Other times I want to read and be clear on facts before addressing it. But in this case, things just keep coming. If we ever get full details on the corruption currently rotting in our clergy, it’s going to take a while.

I’m not waiting for that day to talk about it.

To be perfectly honest, I am not entirely surprised by what we are learning. The sexual abuse, rape, use of pornography, and homosexual activity that has occurred is disturbing and wrong. My heart goes out to victims of these crimes, and I believe it should be a major priority in our Church to heal these wounds. Victims deserve justice. And so do any perpetrators or enablers of these atrocities.

Learning of the horrific experiences of some seminarians, especially in the 70’s and 80’s, is disturbing. Is this part of why our number of priests declined? I wonder. If the testimonies are true, which I am inclined to believe, then whistleblowers were sometimes removed from seminaries. Good guys left out of disgust. This was not acceptable.

And the cover-up.

This is what makes my blood boil.

It remains to be seen exactly who’s right about what. Archbishop Vigano’s testimony is being attested to as accurate by a growing number of credible people who are calling for an investigation. At the same time, Pope Francis has been silent for the last few days. This part of the story has been the most personally disheartening to me so far because of this: if one is innocent, it should be easy to simply state that upfront and discredit false accusations. And if one is guilty but repentant, it should be the obvious course of action to admit wrongdoing, clarify details, and accept consequences.

I do not want Pope Francis to be guilty of covering up these things. I don’t want to know that there are wolves wearing shepherds clothing. But we know too much to let this breeze over. I want the whole truth and nothing but the truth put out into the light of day. Besides actually being found guilty, silence seems like one of the worst reactions by clergy at this present moment, and I struggle to interpret this in a positive way. I think the Church deserves answers to these serious allegations, and that a full investigation all the way up to the Vatican should have been publicly started days ago.

All these details are difficult to follow. My mind has been running like a hamster wheel and I’m not sleeping enough (not that I ever do). I can’t stop thinking about this and reading everything (yes, both “sides”). This is a stunning moment to be Catholic, but I am profoundly grateful for what’s going on. This evil needs to be exposed, and I hope that with how big this has become, it will have to be dealt with.

But Laura, you might say, these things are so heinous and despicable. How could you ever remain a Catholic?

I’m glad you asked.

You know how people talk about the fight or flight reaction we usually have in the face of danger? I think if this was new to me, I might be more likely to be stewing in and blinded by disgust and anger. But sadly, clerical corruption is not an unusual topic of my reading. Besides committing crimes, bishops, priests, and even the Pope are dead wrong sometimes about theological, practical, and pastoral things. And no – I’m not a “far right” Catholic who thinks Pope Francis is the AntiChrist. It’s not everyday they’re covering heinous crimes, but they sure are wrong about some things on the regular. I don’t talk about that often here because it’s depressing and feels prideful to talk about how I think they’re wrong.

But I’ve worked in a less than perfect diocese. I went to a Catholic college. I’ve gone through Safe Environment Training twice. I work for a Catholic organization now. I am a well-informed Catholic, and I know our history is rife with scandal. I know the gates of Hell will not prevail against the universal Catholic Church, but I also know there’s no one country where God said it would remain strong. Whatever happens, though – I’m here for it. I believe this is the One, Holy, Catholic, and Apostolic faith established by Jesus Christ, and I’m not leaving him because of modern day Judases.

I can look at Jesus on the cross and ask why people make atrocious decisions. But I cannot look him in the eye and walk away because of them.

Do you believe Jesus came to conquer sin and give us the Church and its sacraments? Do you believe he is holding us in the palm of his hand through this? Do you believe he is with us in the Eucharist and present among us? Do you believe in the beauty and necessity of the sacraments regardless of who’s ministering them?

Then join me. Stay and fight for the Church you believe in.

“Never let anything so fill you with sorrow as to make you forget the joy of Christ risen.” Mother Teresa said.

And it’s true. I feel like I’m carrying a weight and just want to know the truth and get this over with. But I also want the Church to experience a deep purging and cleansing that will take time.

Some of the best words I’ve seen recently come from a German radio broadcast by then Fr. Ratzinger in 1969:

“From the crisis of today the Church of tomorrow will emerge — a Church that has lost much. She will become small and will have to start afresh more or less from the beginning. She will no longer be able to inhabit many of the edifices she built in prosperity. As the number of her adherents diminishes, so it will lose many of her social privileges. In contrast to an earlier age, it will be seen much more as a voluntary society, entered only by free decision. As a small society, it will make much bigger demands on the initiative of her individual members . . . And so it seems certain to me that the Church is facing very hard times. The real crisis has scarcely begun. We will have to count on terrific upheavals. But I am equally certain about what will remain at the end: not the Church of the political cult, which is dead already, but the Church of faith. It may well no longer be the dominant social power to the extent that she was until recently; but it will enjoy a fresh blossoming and be seen as man’s home, where he will find life and hope beyond death.”

With death always comes resurrection. May the extent of this rot be exposed and burned down to allow new life to flourish. May our faith in Jesus be stronger than any storm. And may new life come from this death.

To LIFE,

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A Litany for Our Church in Crisis

Abuse and crisis within the Catholic Church I call home are unfortunately nothing new. But every time abuse previously unknown to the public comes to light, it is a reminder of a festering, rotten, wound that has not yet been fully healed. We’ve learned recently of decades of evil abuse. And understandably, many of my fellow Catholics are feeling powerless to make this change. What can we do? Where should we start?

To begin with, let’s pray. Prayer is more powerful than it feels. And prayer is always essential to rightly order ourselves in determining concrete action moving forward. We need to commit to fervent prayer for our Church, the people tasked to lead it, and those who have failed us. When I pray for other people and causes, I like to have specific intentions. So I present to you:

If you’ve not prayed a litany before, it’s a style of prayer with a list of intentions and responses. The response for each group of intentions is given in italics after the first line and is repeated after each individual intention. It can be prayed individually, or in a group where one person reads the intention and other say the response. It is meant to be prayed slowly as we reflect on each specific intention.

A Litany for Our Church in Crisis

Lord, have mercy on us. Lord, have mercy on us.
Christ, have mercy on us. Christ, have mercy on us.
Lord, have mercy on us. Lord, have mercy on us.
Christ hear us. Christ graciously hear us.

In the midst of darkness, confusion, and outrage, God we ask for your guidance and right judgement in revealing what is hidden, righting what is wrong, and healing what is broken.

From apathy when faced with evil. DELIVER US, O LORD.

From covering up of sin within our Church.

From systems which allow the continuation of abuse.

From cowardly and sinful leaders.

From despair and hopelessness.

—-

For every individual who has personally suffered at the hands of a clergy member or lay leader. LORD HEAR OUR PRAYER

For every victim not taken seriously.

For every family member and friend of those who have suffered.

For healing and restoration.

For those who groom individuals to become victims of crimes and commit grave sin, particularly abuse, rape, and molestation.

For those who abuse the power of their office to violate the dignity of other people in an effort to placate their selfish and sinful appetites.

For those who violate the trust of those they vowed to lead to Christ.

For those who aid and abet grave sin among our clergy and lay leaders.

For justice to be served.

For sincere repentance and conversion of heart.

For those coerced and blackmailed into silence.

For those who remain silent in the face of evil.

For good and holy clergy and lay leaders working to heal the wound of abuse and prevent it in the future.

For good and holy clergy as they continue to perform their duties and provide access to the sacraments.

For good and holy lay people working in parishes and religiously affiliated organizations.

For courage on the part of all leaders entrusted with the protection of members of the Body of Christ.

For the formation of current seminarians.

For parents concerned for their children’s safety and wellbeing.

For those tempted to leave their home in the Catholic Church because of abuse and scandal.

For those experiencing feelings of betrayal.

For perseverance in combating evil.

For renewed faith in Jesus Christ.

For renewed hope in the saving power of a life lived for heaven.

For renewed charity towards our brothers and sisters.

For renewed commitment to rightly ordered sexuality through the virtue of chastity.

For purity of heart and action.

For transparency and collaboration in forming a solution.

Jesus, giver of life, purify your Church plagued with the rot of sin. Spur on faithful leaders to courageously take decisive action knowing full well the personal sacrifice required. Give the grace of humility in admitting wrongdoing and working towards a long term resolution. Enkindle in the hearts of our laity the perseverance to endure the scandal of sin and the faithfulness to defend all that is good about the One, Holy, Catholic, and Apostolic Church founded by Jesus Christ. Holy Spirit, Divine Comforter, be with your children who are suffering. Inspire the reform needed so desperately in your Church. Be with every faithful member of the Body of Christ as we determine how to move forward. God the Father, remind us of your goodness. Bring peace to every weary soul and justice to every hidden corner of sin. Shine your light on all that is hidden and wash it clean with the blood of your Son offered in reparation for the sins of your children.

We ask this through Christ our Lord. AMEN.


You are welcome to share this litany and pray it with other people or your parish. I’ve created a PDF for easy printing, which you’re welcome to use for that purpose. Click below to download and print.

Printable Litany for Our Church in Crisis PDF

To Life,

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