Failing and daring to give my best

December 3, 2014 ~ Laura ~ 2 Comments

College is an ideal time to develop your character, talents, and beliefs. For me, the last 2.5 years have been the most challenging of my life. My mind has been stretched farther than it ever had been before, and it continues to be blown by what I’m taught by professors and people that I know. Because of that, I’ve also gone through the most intense personal development of my life on many levels: academically, socially, and spiritually to name a few areas.

It’s been full of ups and downs. Sometimes I feel on top of the world. Sometimes I get frustrated that I haven’t truly been striving for excellence. That’s where I’ve been lately.

There is so much to get done on a daily basis. My to-do list is never ending. And things don’t always happen on time. This means I didn’t always give my best effort.

This is not something I’m okay with.

I constantly talk about greatness – finding your cause to fight for in life, the purpose God made you for. But sometimes I feel like I haven’t been giving enough. Sometime in the last month I was mad about something. Disappointed, maybe? I can’t remember. I was kneeling down before mass and just looking up at Jesus on the cross. And it wasn’t like a choir of angels appeared, but very clearly the thought came into my head: “What more I give you?”

There he was on the cross in front of me, this son of God I claim to love so much and live for. He has given the ultimate sacrifice for me. Personally. He would have died for me if I were the only person on Earth.

And here I am procrastinating.

Again.

It’s gotten better throughout college. I haven’t had to stay up until 3:30am writing a paper like I did freshman year! But still, I hate that things don’t always get done as far ahead of time as they should. So I’ve been trying to figure out what to do to remedy this.

We’re told to be strong and independent all the time, but I am so tired of fighting a battle with myself that feels like I’m on a losing streak. It feels like that because I want to do my best, but my best is hard. We’re all called to holiness, but the path to holiness isn’t paved with lollipops. It is born out of blood, sweat, tears, and a heck of a lot of prayer.

I want to be holy. I want to be the light and salt of the world we’re called to be. I want to respond to Jesus in the only way that really makes sense: with gratitude and reckless abandon to his will.

Maybe I just don’t know how.

You know that strong, independent woman CEO we’re supposed to want to be? Guess what I’ve discovered? She doesn’t really exist. In the end we all need each other. We need to slow down and smell the alfalfa, reflect on what really matters, and direct our lives back to our ultimate goal: heaven. It sure doesn’t feel like homework is the way to get to heaven, but for right now I need to give my all to the efforts God has called me to be part of at the moment.

After all, what more can I possibly dare to give back to Jesus than my very best?

How do you deal with stress? Assignments due all at once? A never-ending to-do list? Please keep everyone approaching finals in your prayers as we get through the last couple weeks of school, and know I’ll be praying for you too!

To Life,

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NAS: How do you pray at home?

November 18, 2014 ~ Laura ~ 6 Comments

How do you pray at home? Do you have a special place in your house? How do you make that area special? Comfy chair? Prayer cards? What suggestions do you have to make a home altar? If you don’t do this, in what ways can you begin?

Does my bed count?

Okay, maybe that’s weird to post a picture of my bed. But isn’t it comfy looking?! The blanket is from my grandma. Moving on to the point:

Most days I say a rosary before bed. Or as I fall asleep. Hence, the picture. The things on the wall are prayers too. One of them is the Litany of Humility which I still haven’t said because it’s kind of terrifying on some level. And rather intense. So it’s staying put as a reminder to actually say it one day. I’d love to add a sort of examination of conscience to my wall for the end of each day!

When I wake up, I try to remember to say a morning offering. Then I go to workout (most of the time, but it’s getting harder with the cold) and try to remember to say the LIFE Runners creed before starting. When I get back, I try to remember to read the daily readings (usually from Blessed is She or Word Among Us).

Two days a week I have a half hour of adoration, but I’m usually there for about an hour each time because of how it fits into my schedule. Adoration isn’t something I remember doing before college, so it’s been nice the last couple years here! After learning more about prayer, I force myself to not bring a book to adoration and just be with Jesus. It’s pretty awesome. I also usually go to a holy hour on Saturdays. Sometimes I journal during part of that time. And sometimes I read the “I Thirst for You” meditation. But mostly I kneel or sit there and try to not think of my to-do list . . . . which can be hard. Seriously. Does anyone else have that problem? I don’t have a list to write things down, so I just focus on praying and then at the end I realize how easy it is to chill out and just be there when you try.

Other than that, I write down prayer intentions throughout the week and pray specifically for them. I started doing this last year, but this year I started asking for intentions on social media after reading the suggestion. It felt kind of weird at first, but I love it so much to be able to pray for people’s specific needs! Also included in my intentions are random requests and situations I see.

I try to offer up a lot of stuff for other people, and I have found that to be extremely powerful to me. Does it count as a type of prayer? I don’t know. But praying for the souls in purgatory or asking God to use something I’m going through to help someone else is something I love so much.

For almost 10 years, I’ve kept a journal off an on. In the beginning it was mostly the boring details of what happened everyday, but now it’s more prayers and thinking about stuff. Writing helps me figure things out, so that’s another way I pray. Sometimes from the beginning to the end of something, I can already see a situation more clearly. Yay!

In my dorm room I have this shelf:

I don’t kneel there to pray or anything (though I have heard about having altars in your home which sounds cool!). There’s more on the wall too. It’s just a nice reminder. We also did this to our wall (word of Our Lady of Guadalupe) which keeps a nice atmosphere as well:

Prayer is talking with God, and even though I don’t do a whole lot of organized prayer, it’s an important part of my everyday life. At the beginning of this school year we were challenged to give 30 minutes of undivided time to prayer each day, and I want to get better about that. It doesn’t sound that hard, but it has been! Like exercising which keeps our physical muscles in shape, prayer keeps our spiritual muscles in shape. And I need to start pumping more serious spiritual iron.

Do you have any suggestions for how to make those 30 minutes a habit? Do you pray at specific times of the day? How do you integrate prayer into your life?

To Life,

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Holiness from Calcutta

September 5, 2014 ~ Laura ~ 5 Comments

If I had to choose favorite saints (because who can pick just one?), mine would be St. Joan of Arc, (soon to be saint) Mother Teresa, and St. Gianna Molla. Today is the day that will be Mother Teresa’s feast day! We don’t celebrate it officially yet because she’s not quite officially recognized as a saint. But who wouldn’t take the opportunity to talk about her?

Mother Teresa inspires me so much because she gave up so much to run after God. Visiting sisters in her order over spring break showed me how radically different they live which was crazy awesome. They get up at 4am to serve people, and constantly smile. It was so beautiful! Part of why I love Mother Teresa is because she followed God no matter what. People think you’re crazy? Ain’t nobody got time fo that negativity. Love ’em anyway! Sick people? Love ’em! Crazy people? Love ’em! Poor people? Love ’em! We’re all people who long to love and be loved. Her life is a beautiful example of what that looks like.

She embodied the whole Christian idea of loving all our brothers and sisters. No matter what. She would help anyone, love anyone, but never backed down from what she believed in. Maybe that’s part of why I like her too – because I need to work on that more (the whole being nice and loving with truth). And another funny thing? I did the Myers-Briggs four letter personality thing and it said I had the same personality as her. Now that’s a lot to live up to!

There are so many quotes from Mother Teresa that I love. Here’s a poster I have on my wall (which is one of my favorites).

Read through the meditation I thirst for you (which you can order brochures of for free, and I have a whole stack of on my desk), and read her 7 steps to a holier life (ha, I must really like her because this is hanging on my door as well). Okay, yup. She’s also hanging out on our suite wall. So you could say she’s pretty awesome. Also, check out these pictures.

Mother Teresa // Inspirational Quote // Friendship Gift // Quote Art on Etsy, $20.27 AUD

"We may never know all the good that a simple smile can do." - Mother Teresa

"Yesterday is gone. Tomorrow has not yet come. We only have today. Let us begin." - Mother Teresa

Gah! Can you even handle the holiness here?!?! I just love her. What are some of your favorite quotes from her? The prayer she said everyday (Radiating Christ) has also become a favorite of mine:

Dear Jesus, help me to spread Your fragrance wherever I go.
Flood my soul with Your spirit and life.
Penetrate and possess my whole being so utterly, that my life may only be a radiance of Yours.
Shine through me, and be so in me that every soul I come in contact with may feel Your presence in my soul.
Let them look up and see no longer me, but only Jesus!
Stay with me and then I shall begin to shine as You shine, so to shine as to be a light to others.
The light, O Jesus, will be all from You; none of it will be mine.
It will be you, shining on others through me.
Let me thus praise You the way You love best, by shining on those around me.
Let me preach You without preaching, not by words but by my example, by the catching force of the sympathetic influence of what I do,
the evident fullness of the love my heart bears to You.
Amen.

BOOM. Your day just got more holy. Now go out and be awesome!

To Life,

P.S. Connect with me on Facebook, Twitter, Pinterest, Bloglovin’ or by email!

Changing my approach

August 20, 2014 ~ Laura ~ 6 Comments

It’s been a long time since I’ve posted an opinion piece for Live Action News, or much of anything of the same genre over here. It’s not because my views have changed. No, I still am serving as president of Ravens Respect Life and had an internship with a life affirming medical pregnancy center this summer.

But it’s true that my view has evolved to some degree.

Looking back on my articles, I’ve written about how some people are kind of crazy, Planned Parenthood doesn’t follow the rules, Obama problems, doing the pro-life thing wrong, and medical standard being all sorts of crazy. While it’s good to be informed, and expose lies while holding the truth high as a torch for all to see, it is not good to do this at the expense of other people.

I don’t know that my writing has ever hurt anyone. It’s something I posted about constantly in the past – and I did notice quite a few people “de-friending” me. Was it because of my beliefs? With the sensitive subject matter, I wouldn’t be surprised. And while I still don’t shy away from confrontation and would be happy to talk about these issue with you anytime, the days of Facebook debates are over. They have been for a while, actually.

If you’ve ever participated in debates (because let’s face it, they’re not usually just a “discussion”) online about sensitive life issues, you know that rush of OWNING the conversation. You know when something is just so dumb, you have the perfect comeback that will have everyone and their mother rushing to find sunglasses because the light o’ truth is just that bright.

Um, wrong. Wrong answer. Please don’t do that.

I have. And I loved it. But it is no longer my approach.

Thinking about this more, I realize that there is no place for inflammatory language in this movement. I’m not a complete hippie, but isn’t love what this is all about? We love women so much that we have to show them that we deserve better than abortion and contraception. We love guys so much that we tell them to man up and take care of us women and stop abandoning their children. We love children so much that we will fight for their lives. We love abortion clinic workers so much that we want to expose the truth of their industry, and lead them to a better life.

But did you ever love someone so much that you shut up about your agenda for a second?

Think about it.

You don’t prove much by holding a sign and posting things on social media about “the abortion holocaust”. Whoohoo. You have hands to hold a sign, and you can copy and past links. Yay you! Well, not really. Did you talk with your family member who lost a baby to miscarriage? Did you offer sincere condolences when a loved one of a friend died? Are you praying for people who hate you? Did you give that homeless person a snack? Do you try to love all the people in your life, even if they disagree with you?

Newsflash: if we can’t love people without saying “But abortion!” “But you use contraception!” then we’re doing love wrong.

Like Mother Teresa said:

“Each one of them is Jesus in disguise.”

Yup. Even people I disagree with. Even people who are mean. Because you know? I probably have been too. So I’m starting to approach this differently, and I’m starting now. I do want to live my life being that light – the person everyone knows will stand up for the truth. That’s important. I also want to be a person who others know will take you as you are and treat you with love and respect.

So I promise to not shove my burning torch of truth in your face, honestly.

Something Maya Angelou said seems appropriate here:

“People will forget what you said, people will forget what you did, but people will never forget how you made them feel.”

I want you to know in the fiber of your being, no matter who you are, no matter what you’ve done, no matter what you believe, that I believe in you. I believe you are capable of incredible things, and I believe you were made for greatness. My sincere hope is to communicate this better in the way I write.

I don’t want to write about how people are bad anymore. I want to inspire you. I want to use my life to show you how epic our calling to fearlessly pursue a higher purpose is.

This is what I’m doing today to start that. Will you join me?

To Life,

P.S. Connect with me on Facebook, Twitter, Pinterest, Bloglovin’ or by email!

An open letter to Americans about kids

July 15, 2014 ~ Laura ~ 12 Comments

Did you see this article: “I’m Not Prejudiced, I Just Don’t Like 25% of Humanity”? In it, Haley talks about how (in general) America has become anti-child. People get mad if kids are disruptive in a restaurant. Crying on flights? How thoughtless of the small monster! And if they fail to be silent in Mass? Get. Out. Ya’ll just better stop raining on my parade.

Dear America: You can do better.

Thinking about it, it’s no surprise that people write things like the “26 Important Reminders Why Birth Control Exists” Haley linked to. Kids are just these little tasmanian devils that eat your money and steal your soul, not to mention your sleep. So it would make sense that people don’t like them.

I come from a big family, and I’ve been around big families my entire life. While I’m not a mom, I’ve cared for kids and grown up knowing that while kids can be hard, they are worth it. And doing all the reading I do now has only helped cement that belief.

So when I read that buzzfeed list of why to use birth control, I honestly had to laugh. It’s sad, yes, the comments people made on it. They are so afraid of kids that crayons on the wall bother them? What? I mean, look at that smiling face when kids say “I love you”. Menacing! Artwork on the car? Terrifying! Yes, there’s a limit to where kids should be allowed and how they should behave. But come on. Baby smiles are so precious, even if it’s because they just farted. Yes, I said that. Maybe kids will put oatmeal in their hair and spread bodily fluids all over their bed. Maybe they will scream and you can’t figure out why.

Maybe they will make other people uncomfortable, but that’s okay. We need to get uncomfortable.

We need to realize that while it’s not okay for kids to totally misbehave, we need to cut them some slack. Kids have so much pressure to be perfect. “Sit still” you hiss at them, or “Write your name perfectly 10 times”. Since when did we have so many crazy expectations for kids? Where are the days when kids roamed the neighborhood and made memories with friends? Some of my fondest childhood memories are of getting dirty in the mud in our backyard. We would play restaurant or re-decorate a recycled Christmas tree. I had the freedom to be creative. Yes, that did turn into a big mud fight that got on our house once. We had to clean that one up! My brothers tried to eat snails and worms too. Many of my dolls received haircuts, and my favorite blanket is in shreds. Childhood is just kind of messy.

Image Via

But so what?

It’s an absolute shame that when we see kids now, we see only what they take away from us. We have our perfect little sanitized life and if there’s an itty bitty dirty hand involved oh my landa would ya’ll get the Purell STAT?!?!

Image Via

What about if we stopped complaining so much, and talked more about how they enrich our families and communities? Tell me about the time the kids surprised you with breakfast in bed. The homemade cards. The messy baby kisses. Honestly, when I read the buzzfeed thing I was cracking up. The kids (for the most part) are being kids! They’re going to be messy. They are not always going to be quiet.

Shame on us if we can’t see the beauty in that.

If you don’t have experience with kids, I can see why you might be afraid of them. From my limited experience, I’ve gathered that it’s a lot of work. If you’ve never seen those precious baby smiles and the laughter of little kids filled with glee, completely oblivious to our messed up world, you’ve missed out on something. And I’m sorry you’ve only seen the bad parts.

But that is not a valid excuse. Just because you don’t have good experiences with kids doesn’t mean you can make sweeping generalizations about them. Hating kids doesn’t say anything about them, but it says a lot about you.

So take some time to get to know families, especially families who openly love their kids and will let you see a glimpse of family life. Help a mom out when she drops something with a baby on her hip. Anonymously pay for a family’s dinner when their kids are behaving. Make dinners. Babysit. Challenge yourself to see the good. Who knows?

You might just fall in love with baby smiles.