Category: Life Issues

No, Sam. I won’t stay with you.

~ Laura ~ Leave a comment

The problem with many pop songs is that we listen to and sing them without thinking about what we’re saying. Let’s elaborate with a little story.

“Stay with me” (by Sam Smith” is a song that’s been on a LOT lately, and I have most certainly enjoyed singing it. Some of my favorite parts of the weeks I was still working were belting like crazy on the way home. Windows down, hair down, sunshine, and music blasting . . . much of the time it was country music, but I do listen to pop music. Except for the kind that makes me have a heart attack or is super graphic or gross.

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We were singing this song or talking about it at home here, and my brother was like “Um, did you know that song is about a one night stand?”

WHAT?

No.

I have been singing this song for weeks. How could I not know that?!?!?!

But it’s true. Apparently I never listened real well to the beginning of the song, because here’s what he says:

 

Guess it’s true, I’m not good at a one-night stand
But I still need love ’cause I’m just a man
These nights never seem to go to plan
I don’t want you to leave, will you hold my hand?

[Chorus:]
Oh, won’t you stay with me?
‘Cause you’re all I need
This ain’t love, it’s clear to see
But darling, stay with me

[Verse 2:]
Why am I so emotional?
No, it’s not a good look, gain some self-control
And deep down I know this never works
But you can lay with me so it doesn’t hurt

So basically he’s “just a man” which justifies the one night stand because he “still needs love”. He knows he needs self control, but we all know that never works, so why won’t the girl do him a darned favor and stay with him?

Let me tell you why:

Because smart women who value themselves don’t stay with losers who lack self control.

Of course, smart women shouldn’t get into that kind of a relationship in the first place. Nothing good comes out of one night stands, so it’s honestly quite pointless. We’re made for love, yes. We do need love. And one could argue that love is all we need.

But one night stands are not love. They are, much of the time, the result of drugs or alcohol and other things which inhibit our sense of good judgement.

So, Sam. You do need love. We all do. I would just suggest you start looking for it in other places.

And folks, I would suggest that you take a peek at the lyrics of some of your favorite songs before you start belting them. Just a warning before you start belting awkward lyrics at a stop light 🙂

To Life,

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Books, Babies, Beliefs: blog swap with Bek!

~ Laura ~ Leave a comment

Once upon a time Bek found my blog through Live Action and started commenting on almost every post. Naturally, I wondered who in the world this person is, so I checked out her blog and started commenting on almost every post (but she’s much better than me at that). We don’t really know how it started, but we’ve been exchanging long emails for months now. And when I say long, I mean we have beaten any previous record for email length which is sayin’ something. It has been so much fun talking about tons of things with a wonderful person who shares many of my passions and beliefs.

We decided to  do a blog swap, so we put together interview questions and both answered them all. Below are Bek’s answers, and mine are over on her blog! Please welcome Bek by commenting and visit her blog to check out my answers!

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1. Introduce yourself! What’s something you want these readers to know about you? What’s your favorite color? Favorite book? Favorite animal? Secret talent?

Hey! I’m Bek, and I’ve been blogging for just over 5 years {wow, I feel old!}. Laura’s readers should know that I am an avid reader of books and blogs, that I’m a WhoLockian {you’ll get it if you get it}, and that I love Jesus a whole lot. My favorite color is hot pink. My favorite book rotates frequently and I usually have at least 4 favorites at any one time {current fiction faves: “The Name of the Wind” by Patrick Rothfuss, “Code Name: Verity” by Elizabeth Wein, and “UnWind” by Neal Shusterman}. My favorite animal is one that I don’t have to clean up after, and I’m definitely a dog fan over cats. A secret talent that you readers may not know is that I can crochet. I’m working on the Doctor Who scarf right now, and if you have requests, please let me know!

2. Bek and Laura are both involved in the pro-life movement. How did that start for you?

My sophomore year of high school, I took a worldview class that studied in-depth abortion and proponents’ arguments, and I learned about the violence being done to babies and their mothers. During that class, I went to a Lou Engle conference and participated in some LIFE sieges. In college, I would wear their bracelets and put the tape on my college laptop. After graduating, I started volunteering at a local crisis pregnancy center. I can see myself directing a center in the future, and I know that the pro-life movement is making great strides for life! Some of my favorite organizations are Save the Storks, And Then There Were None, and Care Net {where I volunteer}.

3. If you could only eat one dessert for the rest of your life, what would it be?

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Ice cream, hands down. That has to include gelato, of course, because reasons. 🙂 My favorite flavor of ice cream is choc chip cookie dough, and gelato is definitely hazelnut {tastes like Nutella!}.

4. Alright, break out the granola! Is there a hippie recipe or idea that you want to try but haven’t because you’re afraid of disaster/body odor/explosions?

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I’ve read of several different “make your own deodorant” recipes, but I am scared to go down that path, not gonna lie.

5. Bek and Laura have been learning about each other’s faith practices. What’s something you learned from the other person that surprised you?

I’ve been surprised by how tightly connected the Catholic community is! Making friends in different parishes, helping each other research theological questions, praying for one another – this is a fantastic community, and I never knew that!

6. If you could have a dinner party with any three guests, living or deceased, who would you invite?

Sir Winston Churchill, Benedict Cumberbatch, and Deborah, the judge from the Old Testament… and probably Jennifer Lawrence + Nicholas Hault, because she is my woman crush and he is my man crush…. I suck at limiting parties!

7. What is one of your favorite quotes?

Humorous: “I’m so happy I could scalp somebody” – Mark Twain, when his wife agreed to marry him
Inspirational: “Do one thing every day that scares you.” – Eleanor Roosevelt

8. If you could have a super power for a day, what would it be?

Probably flying, so I could go visit all my friends around the world really easily.

9. What’s something really hard you’ve done?

I did ballet for 15 years, and pointe was really, really hard. Also, sharing a room with all three of my sisters was an adventure that was difficult at the time.

10. What’s something you’ve learned recently?

I’ve recently learned that friendships can be strong even over email 🙂 I’ve learned that it never hurts to ask. I’ve learned that Birdy’s albums are both incredible and can be listened to over and over.

11. If you had a choice, what would you want to be remembered for 250 years from now?

I’d want to be remembered for helping end abortion by offering practical solutions to crisis pregnancies.

12. What are some of your hopes & dreams for your future?

Just some? Okay, I’ll try and just share some: I want to live in a house with a wrap-around porch. I want to adopt children, both domestically and internationally. I want to see abortion outlawed in my nation and state {Washington state’s laws are stricter and older than Roe v. Wade}. I want to finish my doula certification and support laboring women have the birth they want. I want my future children to know and follow the Lord.

13. What would an awesome day consist of for you?

Sleeping in, reading, a chai latte, hanging with my friends and sisters, walking to the beach, a bonfire, and then no alarm set for the next morning!

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Bek is a 25-year-old Washingtonian who loves Jesus, family and friends, chai lattes, books, and blogging {obviously!}. She writes about her faith, her funny life stories, and the fantastic adventures of becoming a certified doula. When Bek is not blogging, she’s reading, watching Doctor Who, and thinking up alliterations for blog posts.

Thanks for swapping blogs, Bek! It’s been so fun to chat with you.

To Life,

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P.S. One last reminder to check out her blog!

Maybe she isn’t transgender: tomboys and kids in America

~ Laura ~ 3 Comments

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You’ve seen the stories: a little boy, born completely male, likes pink and Barbies. Upon questioning from his parents, they come to the revelation that he feels like a girl so they decide that he’s actually a girl. And viola! The child’s identity has been completely changed.

I recently read a story just like that. They’ve always kind of rubbed me the wrong way.

While I know it’s true that there are people who are hermaphrodites and are born tansgendered, these stories seem different. The child seems to prefer things stereotypical of the opposite gender, and that leads the parents to believe they are identifying the child as the wrong gender.

Recently I read this story about a woman who grew up loving football, playing with sticks, hunting with her dad, and desperately wanting to be a boy. In every sense of gender norms in America, she was the son her father never had, like she jokes about. She loved the things many boys do but “[h]ad they told me that liking these things made me a boy, I would have concluded that I was a boy.” And now she a happily married mom.

Reading this article helped me articulate something about these stories. It’s not the family’s struggles that bother me. I’m sure many of their struggles are real, and am not here to tell them they were wrong. What I do want to say is this:

If your child was born a girl and likes “boy things”, that does not mean she is a boy. If your child was born a boy and likes “girl things”, that does not mean he is a girl. It just means they are their own person with unique preferences that may or may not meet the expectations we assign to their gender.

It’s funny to me because America is all about smashing gender norms nowadays. But if a child seems to step outside what we judge as normal gender boundaries, BAM! They are obviously supposed to be the other gender.

Well, that just doesn’t make sense.

We want girls to be CEO’s, and for men to stop hating on women. We want the phrase “like a girl” to be more positive, and for us to identify bossy girls as future leaders. We want to stop playing Russian Roulette with our children’s lives by assigning them a gender at birth. Basically, we want girls to be just like guys and for them to do the same exact things.

How are we doing that if a girl who likes sticks is automatically considered a boy?

America, we are failing our daughters if liking fishing makes them boys. And we are failing our sons if liking the color pink instead of blue makes them girls. Like Lindsay wrote:

“They just let me be me. They let me be a girl who wore jeans more often than skirts. They let me play with slingshots rather than princess wands. They didn’t conclude that I was gay, or transgender. They didn’t put me in a box that would shape my future, at the expense of my own free will.”

That’s pretty powerful. If we want to stop kids from being bullied and judged for their gender identity, then stop labeling them. Let’s play with kids no matter what their preferences are. Stop telling them “liking sticks makes you a boy” or “liking pink makes you a girl”, because it doesn’t.  It’s what makes them the unique person they were created as.

What do you think?

To Life,

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What makes you different

~ Laura ~ Leave a comment

“I just wanted the world to see what I see. I wanted them to see purpose and value in her life, in anyone’s life, you know, no matter what the differences . . . “

So said the mom of happy little Pip – a little girl who recently won Happy Soul Project’s Indie88 Billboard contest. Her billboard features her with the words “What makes you different makes you beautiful”. And did I forget to mention? Pip has Down Syndrome.

People in special circumstances who beat the odds are inspiring to me, and kids who have Down Syndrome even more so, maybe because of my brother. This video makes me so happy!

I love how Pip’s mom talked about seeing purpose and value in peoples lives, not categorizing them or putting limitations on them because of a disability. Sure, having Down Syndrome does make life different. But we’re all given our crosses and we’re all a little different. This is part of the reason why big “coming out” hoopla kind of annoys me sometimes.

You see, your sexual orientation, disability, and/or talents are all part of who you are. Awesome! Hello brother or sister in Christ! As Christians we are called to love people not because of what they are (homosexual, artist, down syndrome) but because of who they are: a daughter or son of God.

So, focus on that. Show me who you are by the way you live your life. Give glory to God by using your talents and abilities for the common good. And please. If you go give a speech saying “Hey! Just wanted you to know I’m ‘different’ but yo! Don’t treat me like I’m different. I’m just like you!” don’t be shocked when people treat you differently.

Introduce yourself by name. Think of people by name, not by what they are. Something that really helped me focus on the good parts of people I may not be on awesome terms with is to think of them as a child of God. Yup. Ouch. It kind of puts it all in perspective. Like Pip’s mom said, she is Pip. She is a (super cute!) little girl and the things that make her unique make her the beautifully unique person she is.

We’ve all got quirks and some people like Pip are more ‘different’ than most, but like the billboard says: What makes you different makes you beautiful. Be who God created you as (his unique child with specific talents and problems), not the labels or ideas the world has assigned to you.

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World Down Syndrome Day 2014

~ Laura ~ 1 Comment

Happy World Down Syndrome Day 🙂

Today is the day we celebrate people who are just like you and me, except that they have 3 of their #21 chromosomes instead of 2, which gives them down syndrome (3/21, get it?!). This day always makes me think of my brother Robert.

What I always hear from people who have family members who are rocking a 3rd 21st chromosome is that being part of simply loving them brings so much joy to their lives. For some reason God gave most people with down syndrome (as far as I’ve seen and heard) the ability to love others unconditionally, being totally unaware or accepting of their flaws.The rest of us? We probably have to work harder at it. It’s so beautiful to see families loving and embracing their children with down syndrome because it turns out that having down syndrome isn’t the end of the world. As you’ll see in these videos, it is a blessing to so many people.

IDSC’s 2014 Video

Dear Future Mom [of a baby with DS]

IDSC’s 2013 Video

IDSC’s 2012 Video

In America over 90% of parents who are told their unborn child has down syndrome choose abortion. Remember to always thank parents for choosing LIFE, even when it isn’t 100% what you were expecting. After all, none of our lives are really “normal” and you never know what amazing things a person – down syndrome or not – is going to with the gift of their life.