How to be a saint (but not get eaten by lions)

Not all of us are called to have our heads chopped off or be eaten alive by lions like the saints of old. But all of us are called to be saints in one way or another.

How to be a saint

Lately I’ve been thinking about what that means. To be a saint nowadays might mean martyrdom for a few people, but for most of us, it’s probably not going to come to that. Most of us are going to lead somewhat ordinary lives getting some sort of an education, having some sort of job, probably raising a family, etc. You get the gist of it. Most of our lives are pretty ordinary. But all of us are called to an extraordinary mission.

This mission is to be a saint, to be the salt and light of the world. It’s going to look different for different people, but the common denominator is this: being a saint means giving until it hurts, loving without boundaries, and living with a higher purpose.

Sainthood101

Giving until it hurts means letting go of our plans and giving God the room to lead us where He made us to go – no matter how tough that path may be. This also means giving of ourselves in service to other people and the greater community. Loving without boundaries means reaching beyond our comfort zone into whatever situations we face and meeting people where they are at. And living with a higher purpose does not mean we’re doing this because we’re more awesome than other people. It means doing all this not for ourselves, or to look good, but because it is right. And giving is better than receiving.

But golly gee, that is WAY easier said than done.

It’s easy to watch just one more episode of something or have a second cookie we don’t need. It’s easy to justify not exercising after a long day of work. It’s easy to look up from social media and wonder where two hours went. It’s easy to forget to pray. Overall, it’s just plain easy to get by in life.

But those things are not going to make any of us saints.

I don’t want to just get by. I want to thrive. I want to say “no” to things that don’t help me become a saint. And I want to say “yes” to things that help me become a saint until it becomes a habit. I want to be more purposeful about how I spend my time.

So that’s why I’m creating a personal mission statement.

Yes, it’s somewhat cheesy. But I’m dead serious about wanting to become a saint. It’s what we’re all called to! Because of that, I’m going to use this statement as a guide. If something doesn’t match the guidelines, then too bad. It’s not happening. And if something does match, and does make me a better person, then it’s happening – even if it’s hard.

Failure will happen. But at least I’ll be closer to what I should be doing.

That’s how I’m going to work on becoming a saint: evaluating what I do and saying “yes” and “no” to the right things.

Yes, it’s kind of a duh moment. Shouldn’t I be doing this anyway? Yes, but writing this out forces me to be mindful. For now this is taking a concrete step toward being more intentional about my time on this side of heaven. And that’s what you can do too! Have you ever thought about defining what your mission in life is?

So here you go. You can click here to visit my new personal mission statement page.

What you think? Share your thoughts in the comments, and shoot me an email if you want to chat about what helped me create this.

Cheers to a purposeful life! And who knows? Maybe your life will involve lions. Maybe not. I can’t guarantee it won’t come to that. But maybe it’s something else that’s keeping you from being awesome. Identify it, and make it your mission to overcome it.

Conquer Yourself Augustine

Today my step toward sainthood is reminding myself that we’re created with a purpose. This is mine. What’s yours?

To Life,

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Image via Pius Mahimbi on Flickr.

Letting go of the perfect future

Before this school year, never had I ever laid on a table close to tears lamenting my future.

But then junior year happened.

Starting off year three as a college student, I was excited to be starting the second half of my college experience. Now I had less time in front of me than behind! It’s exciting to be an adult and independent. But it’s also rather terrifying sometimes . . . like when you realize you don’t really want to do what you set out to do.

I came into college without declaring a major. Psychology was in the running. I still find it fascinating, but did not want grad school to become a necessity. For some time in high school, I considered nursing. But I didn’t want to deal with the higher levels of science. I didn’t want to do something like Theology because what in the world would I do with that?

So I chose business management. Then I decided my goal was to run a pregnancy center.

The other day I had to dress in business attire for a presentation. And it just felt wrong. Even Lin our lovely mother away from home at the cafeteria looked me up and down because it’s not like me. I wear skirts and cute dresses and sandals now that it’s getting warmer.

But there I was in my heels and pencil skirt.

It makes me feel powerful, in a way: walking across campus put together like the strong, independent woman society tells me I should be. But the whole time I wanted to rip it off. I don’t want that. I don’t want to look down on people from up high on my heels. I don’t want people to think I have it together all the time, because I really don’t.

I don’t know where my life is going after realizing that I don’t want to work in the corporate business world. Even the non-profit world can leave me feeling a little less human. And I wasn’t made for the coldness of a cubicle.

Which takes us to the whole laying on a table lamenting my life that happened at some point last semester . . .

You might wonder why I would share something like that. It’s somewhat awkward, but 100% real. If I were to sit down for coffee with you, it’s the same story you would hear because it’s the real me. And I share because many classmates speak of the same thing. Many of us have experienced doubt this school year, and questioned our plans for the future.

The path I’m supposed to take still isn’t crystal clear. Sorry, there’s not an easy solution. But what I do know is that no matter what the specifics of my future look like, what I am called to do right now (and at every point in my life) is to give of myself. That’s expressed in different ways at different points in a person’s life, but in the end,

“He will look at our hands to see if they have been scarred from giving, our feet to see the calluses from travel to preach His Gospel, and our side to see if we have loved to a point of sacrifice. Woe to us who come down from Calvary with hands unscarred and white.” (Fulton Sheen)

Are my hands scarred and my feet callused? Are my knees rough from praying for others? Is my heart so bursting with Christ’s love that I never hesitate to share it? Are my eyes sore from watching out for others, my back aching from working for the true, good, and beautiful things of this world?

That’s what I’m supposed to be doing right now: loving people wherever they are and seeking God’s will.

Love without measure - St. Francis de Sales
St. Francis de Sales

 

Even though I don’t know what God’s will is all the time, what I do know is that I’m called to give until it hurts. Giving isn’t about how much you give, though. It’s about how much we have left. You know that parable where a poor woman gave all the money she had, even though it was a tiny amount? What she gave wasn’t a lot. A rich person could have given many more dollars.

It was about how much she had left: almost nothing in the world. With trust, she gave almost everything of herself knowing she would ultimately be taken care of.

So today my prayer is for the grace to be able to love until it hurts, to trust with abandon, to give until my hands are scarred, and my skin burned from laboring in the the fields I’m led to. Because it’s there that I’m meant to be: where my passions and talents meet the needs of the world. I don’t know where exactly that is yet, but I know for certain I’m in for an adventure in this year where I’m trying to abandon myself to God’s will.

Let your faith be bigger than your fear
Author Unknown

 

Fear tells me to worry about the future. Faith tells me God knows the plans He has for me. They are plans for me to prosper and thrive. If He could just tell me what the heck the plan is, that would be great. But that’s too easy! So I’m going to keep on working, giving, and serving – trying my best to do what I’m called to do in this moment and leave the worries of the future in the hands of Him who will help me work them out.

To Life,

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When the going gets tough

. . . the tough get going. Right?

Yeah, that’s harder than it sounds.

Until this semester, I have never considered myself a lazy person. Ever. It just wasn’t something that was in my blood. A possibility? Eh, unlikely. I am the do-er of all things, the planner, the one to get up and do something when other people don’t. I still do that. I can’t stand sleeping in (unless it’s desperately needed), and am always busy doing things.

But I’ve realized that what I’m doing is actually kind of stupid sometimes.

For example:

Why do I read people’s blogs? Why do I check Facebook? Why do I read so many articles? Yeah, Buzzfeed. Why do I spend time on there sometimes? Why do I sometimes spend time doing things that aren’t 100% necessary? Why don’t I get up earlier? Why do I go to bed so late? Why don’t I work out and pray more?

Basically: why I am not fully running like a crazy person toward the person I’m capable of being?

That’s not to say I’ve been lounging on the couch eating potato chips and watching all the seasons of Say Yes to the Dress. Nope, I still don’t like tv. I’ve worked out quite a lot and grown in my prayer life. But I’ve procrastinated on projects. I’ve forgotten to respond to people’s communication. I’ve done things later than I should have, even though I knew about them well ahead of time. I’ve just not done my best.

And I really hate that.

I am capable of getting all my homework done more than a day before it’s due. I am capable of responding to all important communication within a reasonable amount of time. I am capable of going without the internet for days on end. I am capable of having a thriving prayer life, and being in good shape.

Even though I’ve thought about it, I haven’t come up with a reason why I haven’t worked harder on these things. I want to be better. It kills me that I haven’t tried harder.

So I’m moving on.

It’s high time to whip myself into gear and show God I’m actually serious about being the person He created me to be. So I’m going to use this summer to challenge myself like never before. It might mean getting up by 6am and pushing myself to do things outside my comfort zone. And what I know it means is working my butt off to unite my life to the life God made me to live. Basically this quote sums it up:

Conquer Yourself Augustine

Who’s ready to put on some warpaint and be a boss at life?!?! Care to join me? There just aren’t excuses at this point in my life for not being better, so I’m going to be karate-chopping the world down and standing on top of it like that guy in Mulan when he’s king of the rock. Except I’m a girl. And I have regular clothes on. Bad analogy.

Anyway.

I’ll be sharing my goals in the next week or so. Want to join me in making this summer count? Start thinking about what you want to do, habits you wan to kick or develop, and let’s bounce our ideas off each other!

To Life

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What Love Really Means

What Love Really Means

Have you ever been good friends with someone you never shared a personal story with?

Is it the people you know and love best who you are comfortable enough with to let your guard down around?

To me it’s challenging to think about what it means to love other people, because I’m not too good at it. I forget to tell people things about my life. I don’t always make enough of an effort to get to know people I meet.

But something I do know is that you get out of something what you put into it. The people and relationships you put effort into – those are the ones that mean the most. And it’s often the case because those are the people we are ourselves around. We let people see who we really are, not our highlight reel on Instagram.

To love others is to be vulnerable and allow ourselves to take risks by sharing some of our deepest stories, fears, and hopes.

This, I’ve been thinking lately, contributes so much to our society.

We’re terrified of being hurt, getting sick, and having our hearts broken. But didn’t you know? Broken bones heal stronger. Sore muscles heal tougher.

FultonSheen-Broken things are precious

Love requires that we allow ourselves to be known for who we truly are, while at the same time seeing the imperfection of others before us and loving them anyway. We are called to love people as God sees them: as creatures made in His image and likeness with an inherent dignity nothing can change.

Over spring break, I was thinking about this quite a bit – being able to love people regardless of what they have or have not done. It was challenging me. I wanted to be able to love people for who they are, not what they have done.

So what did I do?

I asked God to help me be able to see people more like He does.

Which might sound kind of silly. But! I prayed about it. I was thinking about people in my life who are hard to love. One of the other girls on the trip and I really didn’t click, and I had been finding her a bit annoying. Sorry, but it’s true. Not all people are easy to get along with. But wouldn’t you know? That night we ended up next to each other at dinner, and I couldn’t stop thinking about this whole concept. She shared some things about her life which helped me appreciate who she was on a deeper level. And for the first time on that trip, we talked for quite a bit and I could see past what had been annoying me. God is so awesome how he answers prayers.

Love is complicated, and it’s expressed in so many ways. One way we seem to have forgotten about is through sacrifice. I’m fairly convinced that if we could truly appreciate the beauty of sacrifice, a lot of relationships would be healed. Our families would be much better off.

Love and sacrifice call us outside of ourselves. It calls us to see others for who they are, not what they have done. There is something true, beautiful, and good about love which draws us out of ourselves to put the needs of others above our own.

toloveistobevulnerable

Love requires us to be ourselves, to be vulnerable, and to let the ones we want to be able to love take a look inside of us. Golly, that’s hard. But that’s what love seems to come down to. It’s kind of like the “to love another person is to see the face of God” thing. Loving people is like that: working on seeing the value in them not for what they have done, but for who they are.

Each person is valuable and worthy of being loved, even with all their faults. Because let’s face it: we’ve all got ’em.

Lets work together to see each other’s value in a new light, striving to see the dignity we each posses regardless of where we’ve been, what choices we’ve made, or the unique quirks about our personalities. Because in the end, as some famous person said, all that will matter is how much we loved. Challenge: accepted.

To Life,

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P.S. Here’s a song to reflect on this concept!

A Day to Remember

On that day back when I was 11, I cried in my favorite teal butterfly dress during the memorial Mass for Robert. Why I didn’t bring more tissues, I’ll never know. For a while after that day, I didn’t think back to it very often.But now I remember it every year.

When you lose a brother, I hardly imagine it’s possible to forget.

When we found out another sibling was on the way, I was ecstatic. What a happy day to be a big sister again! When we found out Robert probably had Down Syndrome, I didn’t know what to think. We looked at a brief summary in one of our biology textbooks, but I don’t think I fully understood what it meant at the time. I just knew our lives would be much different than expected once he was born. When we later found out that Robert had already been born into heaven (we can hope), it was a sad day.

Today is the anniversary of that day.

My life was changed by Robert, just not in the way I might have expected. And I appreciate that more as I get older. I didn’t get to hold him or watch him grow up. I didn’t read books with him, teach him how to play in the mud, or build a city of blocks on our living room floor. His life was so short that we didn’t have time to create those memories together. My memories from those days are a bit vague, but they are still there:

I remember Mom and Dad walking in from that doctor’s appointment and knowing instantly that something was not right.

I remember crying the hardest I had ever cried up to that point in my life.

And I remember writing this poem for my mom, which became part of the program for that memorial Mass (just don’t examine my 11-year-old theology or grammar too deeply):

Life is such a precious thing,
A thing it hurts to lose.
Life is a gift God gives to every being
The purpose and length of their life He will choose.
How short or long your life may be
is a thing you cannot know.
Be ready all you wanderers
wherever you may go.
For God will take your life
at a time He decides is right.
Some day soon or far away
He will lead you to the light.
Each life is treasured by ones who would love you
Even if they never had the chance to say coochy-coochy-coo.
For every soul that has been taken
is awaiting you in heaven

Today I am reminded of the phrase the Sisters of Life have on the back of the medals they wear (taken from this poem):

Nothing again would be casual and small

 

No life is too small or casual to make an impact on the world: your life, my life, Robert’s life. We’re all these teeny tiny people in a big world given the wildly precious gift of our lives with a purpose only we are capable of fulfilling. And some just accomplish that faster than others.

Thank you, Robert, for helping me to remember that no life is too small to matter. If your short life can impact people, all of us can. Pray for us, will you?

Please join me today in remembering families who have lost a child/sibling/relative to miscarriage in your prayers. And remember: no feet are too tiny to leave an imprint in this world. It might be a big act of heroism, the quiet witness of your life, or simply the fact that you existed that makes all the difference – even if it’s for just 18 short weeks.

To Life,

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