Author: Laura

Freedom’s Calling {A Humanae Vitae Series Introduction}

~ Laura ~ 20 Comments

In a world where self-fulfillment is the goal, sex is a rite of passage in teenage years, contraception is viewed as a responsibility, and kids are seeing pornography before turning ten, it is an unthinkable and even laughable notion to forsake instant gratification and choose sacrifice in the realm of human sexuality.

Yet, here we are. And we’re not laughing about the issues throwing caution to the wind has led to.

We are living in a time when generations are becoming progressively more lonely. Many people are sexually confused or tragically abused. It doesn’t take much to realize that this area of life has become one of deep confusion, addiction, and personal tragedy.

No group of people is exempt from this madness. And no group really agrees on causes, effects, or solutions.

Even among those who identify as Catholic, our views vary on what is and isn’t acceptable. For example, a Pew Research Study released in September 2016 found that only 8% of responding Catholics viewed contraception as morally wrong, 41% as morally acceptable, and 48% as “not a moral issue”. As an imperfect but faithful Catholic, I am part of that 8% and stand behind what my church teaches. In fact, all Christian denominations denounced contraception until the Anglican Bishop’s Lambeth Conference of 1930 first accepted it in a vote of 193 to 67. In far less than a century, the entire landscape of family life and reproductive health has radically changed.

Some laud the development of effective contraception as finally getting with the times. But the Catholic Church has staunchly recognized from the beginning several things:

  • Men and women were created for each other, as is self-evident in our complimentary nature.
  • Men and women were gifted by God with the possibility of co-creating new human beings together by mirroring the creative love of God revealed in the community of persons we call the Trinity.
  • Bringing a new human life into existence is a great responsibility, and a natural end of sex. So is the bonding of spouses.
  • Marriage was established by God as the permanent partnership between man and woman whereby children can be raised in a legally bound and sacramentally graced union.
  • Sex is meant for spouses committed to each other in marriage because by nature, the total giving of oneself with the potential of creating a child only makes sense in a committed, vowed, relationship.

To be honest, it doesn’t make perfect sense to be writing about this. I am single as they come at this point. I have no personal experience being married. But I come from a family, could certainly have my own one day, and have a vested interest in the health and well being of my fellow human beings. I have for a while.

It’s been a relatively long time since I first started reading and learning about Catholicism’s approach to these issues. I started reading a lot of current events back toward the end of high school when I got on Facebook and the pro-life movement first came on my radar. From there, it’s been a continuous process of slowly building my understanding. Why? I just realized that the world falls short of what we’re made for, and had to find out why and how and for what I was created.

I took a class on Christian Marriage in college (which was so good), and have read extensively on Theology of the Body and these issues because let’s be real: if a Catholic doesn’t do that nowadays, why stand behind what the Church teaches? How is one convicted enough to stick to something they don’t understand?

Some of the key books I’ve read or am reading.

Understanding how I am made, and God’s plan for love and life is necessary in these times. If I hadn’t taken the personal responsibility to learn the why behind what people already know the Church teaches, who knows what kind of different choices I would have made. But here, now? I certainly have only scratched the surface, but am convicted that if more people could seek and grasp a deeper understanding, our world would be so different.

There is a great battle happening in our culture and in our souls for not just the unsatisfying license to do whatever we want, but the true freedom to order our lives rightly. To master ourselves. To break free of sin and slavery to ourselves. This is possible for anyone, and a necessity for everyone. As G. K. Chesterton put it, “It is the paradox of history that each generation is converted by the saint who contradicts it most.” Do you want to be part of changing our culture? It seems like such a hard thing by society’s standards, but Josemaría Escrivá encourages us that “When you decide firmly to lead a clean life, chastity will not be a burden on you: it will be a crown of triumph.”

Much of the time Catholics have this discussion in terms of married people (which is undoubtedly important). But coming to understand that no matter our state in life, we are all made to love out of self-gift was a transformative realization in my life. There is something in this for everyone. It’s hard to explain, but for me, it completely changed how I love people. (And here are some ways I’ve shared how to live this as a single person.)

I realized too often I did things with an expectation of what would be given back, which left me feeling unloved when things aren’t reciprocated. Seeing acts of love instead as a free gift of myself is different, because gifts have no strings attached. They are undeserved and cannot be earned.

That kind of love is what Catholicism shows us is possible and calls every one of us to live in different ways specific to our state of life.

Though the world says sleeping around, watching pornography, and using contraception are normal, I am here to tell you that it is possible to say no to all of that. Not only is it possible, it is empowering. Beautiful. Freeing.

I am free from addiction.

I am free from the worry of STD’s, getting pregnant before being married, and the emotional baggage that sleeping around brings.

I am free to live my best life until or unless a guy comes along with the same standards.

I am free to understand and respect how my body works naturally and not pump it full of synthetic hormones.

I am free to love and sacrifice fully, with nothing holding me back.

I am free from being enslaved by bodily passions.

I am free.

Insert appropriately cheesy picture from college days // JM Media

With the 50th anniversary of Pope Paul VI’s Humanae Vitae next month, I wanted to share this with you in the hope of broaching an awkward and controversial conversation, as per usual. This document (written by a soon to be canonized saint) reaffirmed Catholicism’s long standing stance on the issue of contraception and prophetically foretold what would happen with the broad acceptance of contraception, when at the height of the sexual revolution the world expected the Church to bow. But it didn’t, because this is one of those issues that gets to the heart of what it means to be human, and will never change.

There are people out there committed to this too. It’s not just some fringe religious nutcases. There are well educated, faithful, joyful people living out this truth in ordinary and extraordinary ways, so this post is just the beginning of a seven part series. Each person will share a bit about how they came to understand and embrace this message of life-giving love. It is a journey. Wherever you are in yours, my hope is that this series encourages you to ask hard questions, learn more, and consider how you are called to respond in your own life.

This radical self-gift kind of love is what each of us is capable of giving.

This is what we are free to do through self mastery and right ordering of our passions.

This is the calling on each of our lives.

This is Freedom’s Calling.

–

Check back and follow along in the coming weeks for the remaining guest posts of this series! Feel free to contact me and participate in the comment section with any input and discussion.

Here are links to the rest of the posts:

Part 2: Celebrating the responsibility of our creative power with Amy Thomas of Catholic Pilgrim

Part 3: Self Control and Our Ultimate Mission with Kristi Denoy of Hail Marry

Part 4: The Ripple Effect of Chastity in my Life with Katie Herzing of Becoming Perfectly Myself

Part 5: Moved by NFP with Heidi Indahl of Work and Play, Day by Day

Part 6: Freedom in Surrender with Laura Durant Healing Heart of Jesus

Part 7 (the end): When God’s generosity meets the demands of conscience and science with Leslie Sholly of Life in Every Limb

To Life,

 

 

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7QT, Vol 68: Series, piano, and controversial issues

~ Laura ~ 6 Comments

Two weeks in a row?! That’s right. I’m on a roll. Mostly because:

1.

NEXT WEEK we’re kicking off that series commemorating Humanae Vitae’s 50th anniversary! Freedom’s Calling is a seven part series, and I’ll be releasing one at a time on Mondays and Thursdays. Be sure to follow along somewhere so you see them! If you’ve not heard me talk about it yet, each piece is the story of someone coming to embrace the Catholic teaching on sexual ethics, or sticking with it over time. These women are beautiful, wonderful, people, and I’m excited to share with you their stories and testimony of the freedom the Church calls us to.

2.

Do you consider yourself a competent cook? I would mostly say yes to that, but every once in a while something turns out weird and reminds me I don’t actually have much technical prowess and am more the beneficiary of flying by the seat of my pants. It made me feel more accomplished to read these 18 Basic Cooking Skills You Should Learn in Your Twenties and only have a few that I’ve not done. There’s not really an occasion I would cook a whole chicken for, and mussels? Gross. What’s your score?

3.

You know I can’t do a quick takes without some controversial issues too. You might have heard that earlier this week, the Supreme Court ruled 7-2 in favor of the Colorado-based cake artist Jack Phillips. Jack was approached by two men planning a same sex wedding, who requested a custom wedding cake. Jack declined to create this custom order just as he’s declined custom Halloween cakes, divorce cakes, and cakes disparaging people who identify as gay. He doesn’t do those kinds of custom cakes, because he believes those things are wrong and does not want to use his artistic ability to express his support of them.

Colorado’s Civil Rights Commission had ruled against Jack, finding him guilty of discrimination. However, I thought this article made a good point: He wasn’t refusing service to these men because they were marrying each other. He offered to sell any of his baked goods. He simply declined to participate in the specific custom artistic process of celebrating the occasion. Justice Kennedy wrote: “The neutral and respectful consideration to which Phillips was entitled was compromised here. The Civil Rights Commission’s treatment of his case has some elements of a clear and impermissible hostility toward the sincere religious beliefs that motivated his objection.” It is encouraging to see that some people still recognize that sincere religious beliefs shouldn’t be attacked in the public square. Aren’t religious people a protected class anyway? Oh the irony.

4.

Another good read this week! Joanna Gaines: “If I could tell the younger generation something it would be to start from within.” I just appreciate her public presence. Her family-first, no-drama, integrity is refreshing.

5.

California recently voided the so-called End of Life Option Act that legalized doctor assisted suicide, ruling that it had been rushed and not passed correctly (true). This is good, but not the end. Here is a beautiful little interview with Stephanie Packer, a 37 year old mother of four who is suffering from the terminal illness scleroderma and using her voice to be a proponent for “aid in living”, not “aid in dying”.

6.

Switching to a lighter note: Do you know of any good online resources for learning piano? I was generously gifted with a keyboard for my birthday last month, and have loved tinkering with it a bit. I took lessons here and there, so I know the basics already. But ideally, I’d like to be able to play songs using basic cords. I found this course already (which I’ve started), but would love to hear of what else is out there. Maybe a youtube channel?

7.

Alright, that’s it for now folks. Have a good weekend and see you soon for the series!

And head on over to Kelly’s place for more quick takes!

To Life,

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7QT, Vol 67: Contraception, Colorado, and Creme Brulee

~ Laura ~ Leave a comment

Well, well, well. Hello, world! It’s been a while since I’ve written anything other than something for Everyday Ediths. So often an idea pops into my head and I think about what I’d say, but then I forget to write it down and/or don’t want to sit down to hammer it out. HOWEVER, here we are. I’m going old-school blogging style today and just sharing random updates.

1.

Starting later this month, I am SO EXCITED to be releasing a new blog series. I’ve organized it in commemoration of this summer’s 50th anniversary of the document Humanae Vitae (“On Human Life”). If you’ve not read it, it was a landmark document released by Pope Paul VI (who will be canonized later this year!) in 1968, explaining the Church’s longstanding position against contraception. The series will feature real life stories from people who have in some cases grappled with or lived against, and then come to embrace the Catholic Church’s teachings on sexual ethics. As awkward as it may seem to write about this, and as weird as it may seem for me to host this as a currently single person, I’m doing it anyway. People need to hear about this. It is my hope that you see a glimpse of the freedom and peace that living in conformity to God’s design brings, and are inspired to do so in your own journey.

2.

Last weekend I took an extra day off and spent a refreshing extra long weekend with a couple college friends in Colorado. It was the best. Nothing refreshes the soul like nature, hours of good conversation, and an almost excessive amount of coffee.

3.

Speaking of refreshing, do you know something that isn’t refreshing? Filling your head with unnecessary noise on social media. In the last several months I’ve been unfollowing pages and people with reckless abandon and it is glorious. It also makes me want to be there less (specifically Facebook and Instagram where I mainly am), so that’s awesome. I’ve realized that though social media can be used for good and some people are great evangelizers on there, it’s not my jam or calling. And that’s ok. Follow me if you want, but I’m not here to make money or grow some crazy following. I am at peace with doing whatever on social media without treating it like a business.

4.

What do you do with your time otherwise? Well, one thing I’ve been doing is reading more. That needs it’s own post, but this year I’ve finished the entire Narnia series (for the first time ever, I know). Most recently I finished Cecile Richard’s memoir Make Trouble, an interesting book on Pope Francis’ papacy and divisions within the Church by Ross Douthat called To Change the Church, Emily Wilson-Hussem’s Go Bravely, Life of the Beloved by Henri Nouwen, and many more. Read anything good lately? I’m also finishing a re-read of Humanae Vitae (this edition) in preparation for #1 above.

5.

What are some fun things you’ve cooked lately? I was gifted with a kitchen torch for my birthday last month, and made creme brulee! The traditional one turned our pretty good for a first try, but I want to find a vanilla bean paste to make that flavor stronger. I also did a non-dairy version for family with dairy allergies and the third try (with regular coconut milk) was almost right! The first try  was one of my weirdest kitchen fails, and I don’t know what happened. It felt very unjust that the one time I actually followed a recipe it failed, but oh well. Don’t use coconut cream! See what I’m saying? So weird how it separated.

6.

Were you shocked with the news in Ireland recently? I didn’t know how it would end up, but of course am sad that preborn babies no longer have legal protection there. I thought this piece by Stephanie Gray was a good and hopeful response.

7.

It feels like SUMMER and I am so ready. Bring on all the evening sunshine, tans/burns, flip flops, painted toenails, family BBQ’s, etc. What are some of your favorite summertime things to do?

That’s it for now. Go visit Kelly’s place for more quick takes. And see you soon for the upcoming series!

To life,

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Owning the role of Catholic womanhood

~ Laura ~ Leave a comment

I actually wrote something, guys! Here’s my May contribution over at Everyday Ediths.

This month we’re talking about womanhood, so eloquently defined by Merriam-Webster as the state or condition of being a woman, or the distinguishing character or qualities of a woman. I’d like to think that with my own lived experience of being one that I’ve learned at least a little about this topic.

I know that women were created in the image of God with the capacity to mirror the Trinity in our complementarity to men written into our being.

I know that while women are fundamentally different than men, we are equal in dignity and value.

Head over there to read the rest!

Translating faith into action

~ Laura ~ 2 Comments

Faith. I think about my Catholic faith everyday. It’s part of my job, my gallery wall, and my car. It’s obvious in the crucifix I wear, the books I read, my bumper stickers, music choices, and social media presence. But it’s easy for faith to become automatic for me, to forget to have a deep appreciation for the gift of faith, and to neglect to translate that into concrete action.

Read the rest of my take on our topic of faith over at Everyday Ediths.