"We ourselves feel that what we are doing is just a drop in the ocean. But the ocean would be less because of that missing drop." ~ Blessed Mother Teresa
I have somewhat neglected participating in this series because it feels strange publishing things on topics I only talk about with family and girlfriends and such. But I figure it doesn’t hurt. Maybe someone I know will read something good and benefit from it, and if not . . . what’s the big deal? Not much. So! This weeks topic is: Marriage.
I don’t even like this movie that much, but this part is hilarious.
Most of us here feel called to the vocation of marriage…but what is it exactly that you’re attracted to? What have you seen in others’ marriages that you’ve learned from or would do differently?
Well.
I’ve always loved playing with kids. I babysat and watched my siblings and led things for kids in high school. It only seemed natural to assume I would get married.
But then I went to a seriously Catholic college.
Shoot.
I actually have to do this whole discerning thing.
How does that work? What the heck was I supposed to do? I don’t want to be a nun! What does this mean? Holy cow I’m going to die, I’m so not sure now! Somebody tell me for crying out loud!
That lasted a couple minutes.
Then I put my big girl panties on (it’s a metaphor, people!) and found out that to discern you really have to look at what the options require, look at your talents and abilities and characteristics and see what matches the most.
Boom bam!
It became very clear to me that I would die am not suited for religious life. It’s hard to describe why or how I knew/know. I just know.
It’s not like I expect to find Prince Charming and run off into the sunset. I know marriage isn’t easy. And I think that’s kind of why it’s appealing to me, strangely. I like a challenge. Promising to love a person through the good and bad until you die is a pretty big deal. You’re vowing to live for the good of this person until you DIE. Whoa. But at the same time, the other person vows to love you in return. And if you put God at the root of your relationship, you’re a cord of three strands (which it says somewhere in the Bible is not easily broken). How awesome is that?
I never, ever, want to live alone in my entire life. I want to share my life with another person, and I hope to someday bring kids into the world if that’s the plan (eh, God?). Marriage requires that you give love unconditionally, and your mutual love create this trinity-mirroring sacred kind of love that God grants to people through the awesome sacrament of marriage. And your spouse vows to love you unconditionally in return.
If I though about it more, there are probably deeper reasons, but that’s it for now. I am thankful to have beautiful examples of people who have made marriage work (both sets of grandparents for almost 54 years, parents for 25). If it’s what God has in store, then I’ll pray for the grace to accept all the challenges and beauty it gives. And until then? I’ll keep on praying for the grace to live my current vocation gracefully.
In a Heartbeat: Sharing the Power of Cheerful Giving
By Leigh Anne & Sean Tuohy
Published in 2010
264 pages
Why did you pick up this book?
Because The Blind Side is one of my favorite movies. Don’t ask me why, but I would agree to watch inspirational sports movies over any type of fantasy or sci-fi sort of flick. Same for books. I like real life. The cover of this book gives it a cheesy Christian vibe, but it’s a beautiful look at the Tuohy family philosophy of always giving.
What topic(s) does this book deal with?
1. The Tuohy’s story of how they came to welcome football star Michael Oher into their family, and 2. Their inspiring take on giving back
What was your favorite part of this book?
Too much! There are a bunch of inspiring quotes interspersed, and it’s beautiful to read a real-life example of people giving of themselves.
What style is this book written in?
This books is fairly conversational. Chapters flip from Leigh Anne to Sean’s perspective, and are sometimes a mix.
How readable is this book?
This book is extremely readable: there is dialogue and to the point pages on giving back. But it’s their story too, so you get into it.
Thanks for reading! If you have questions about the book, feel free to ask.
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Today I’m just writing about life, mostly because I’m on break and can.
Right now my room is a mess. I’ve been kind of terrible about answering emails lately. And I’m still in pajamas. I did recently pack up some junk that was in my room (random leftover things from RRL events) and put it into storage which is nice. I also washed ALL my dirty dishes last night, and made banana bread.
College life is pretty fun because it’s a point in my life when I can do lots of things without it interrupting other people’s lives. Take last weekend as an example:
Sun rising outside the clinic (p.s. we don’t hold signs)
Last Saturday I got up at 5am to sidewalk counsel. It was quite the morning outside the clinic. A baby was saved (for the first time when we were there) after talking with other people. It was beautiful, even though we didn’t know much of anything about the situation!
I’ve learned so much outside that clinic, and look forward to continuing. It deserves its own post though.
After that I drove over with the counselors to RRL’s baby item drive.
We ended up collecting a whole car load!
People were very generous, and it was beautiful. Some parents had their little kids hand us the donated items which was sweet.
From there we got back and I had a 3 hour long rehearsal for concert chorale.
So. Tired.
Getting ready to leave campus
The next morning I got up to do a leg of LIFE Runner’s A-Cross the country race. It was in a beautiful rural area with nearly perfect weather. 3.4 miles didn’t seem too painful when it’s for a cause, which I was really surprised about.
At the end!
We got back in just enough time for me to shower before the concert chorale performance. Filming that didn’t work out so well (camera battery dying and all) so I’ll see if someone can record our next performance next Friday. It was beautiful. And there was a thunderstorm going on during it.
Afterward I wrote a paper, did homework, studied for a test, went to evening Mass, and then our Eucharistic procession after it. That was really beautiful. The wind was insane and it was sprinkling, but it was still awesome.
It was nice to have a short week of school. Finals are getting close! Yesterday the wind was so strong I literally was almost blown down a flight of stairs. I had to hang on to the railing for dear life for a second. Whew!
Right now there are not many people on campus, and we’re having fun making our own food (ie. dinosaur chicken nuggets, pasta, etc). We’ll go to the traditional triduum mass/service/vigil. That will be nice.
Since it’s Holy Week, I feel like I should be writing something religious, but I don’t really have anything profound to say. Jesus died for us. It’s pretty amazing. Go watch The Passion and go to whatever your church has too! This really is a beautiful time of year reflecting on my faith and having time away from homework to do that.
What are your favorite Lenten/holy week traditions?
Some people say we’ve got it easy. We’ve got the answer to nearly any question we have available at the touch of a button. We have an overabundance of food, clothing, and all the necessities of life at our fingertips. What’s to complain about, right? Well, not much. But the fact is that many people are still hurting and terribly unsatisfied in life.
Why? I think a lot of the time we try to satisfy our deepest longings for truth and beauty with the fleeting pleasures of the world. Standing in line we whip out the smartphone and see what’s been posted in the last 12.4 seconds on Facebook, Twitter, and Instagram. It’s harder to take time to write a letter or *GASP* actually talk to someone. It’s the world we live in.
But I take great pleasure in being counter-cultural in many ways.
What society tells us is plain messed up sometimes (seen the latest magazine covers?). So here I am with a different message. You might be older or younger than me; taller, more experienced, and probably better than me at many things. But we’re all in this thing called life together. I want you to know that. There are lots of things I want you to know, remember, and repeat often. Here are some of them:
You are beautiful. Yes, it’s cheesy and people tell you this on your duck face profile pictures all the time. But I want you to know that random comments about how sexy that picture is don’t do you much justice. Being beautiful is a lot more than that.
Beauty is your laugh, and when you share your heart with a friend. It’s when you’re vulnerable by allowing people to get to know you for who you are. When you hide behind a foot of makeup and a hair-do that takes an hour to prep you’re still beautiful, but we can’t really see you. Know that who you are in and of itself makes you beautiful and awesome. Be the person that has dreams and talents and a smart head on her shoulders. People will see your authenticity and appreciate that about you. And never forget to smile!
Don’t compare yourself to other people. Seriously. I think this is one of the hardest things about living in the 21st century. Oh! So-and-so just posted pictures on Instagram of her vacation and doesn’t she always have the perfect hair and clothes! Another girl posted cute picture with her friends. Isn’t their hair/clothes/abs just perfect? Goshdarnit! Now I need to go work out. If I could be half as awesome as them, it would be amazing!
Nuh uh. Stop it.
That girl on vacation? Maybe she’s using it as time to get away from her abusive boyfriend. She focuses on her clothes and hair a lot so she doesn’t have to talk about how hard her life is. Those girls on Facebook? They were fighting the night before they took that picture and a couple of them are faking their smiles. Maybe the fake smilies are hiding something they don’t want to talk about.
I could go on and on, but the point is that with all the social media right now it’s very easy to feel bad about ourselves because we only see the best parts of people they put on the internet. But that’s not reality. Work on becoming the best version of yourself and slowly these people won’t affect you as much. And please don’t say you want to be half as good as someone else. You are 100% as awesome as yourself already.
Don’t judge other people. It’s hard, believe me (and yes I fail at this a lot). But it it will make your life so much happier if you give people the benefit of the doubt. Perhaps the person who cut you off on the road is driving their passenger to the hospital. Maybe your friend who said something super rude didn’t mean it the way it sounded to you. We all mess up, so no one is perfect. Most of the time we don’t know for certain the motivation behind what someone does. So don’t assume you know it. Assume the best.
This is quite a challenge, but I encourage you to find what works for you. Do you need to walk away from certain kinds of situations? Take a run? Count to 10? Do it. Read your emails and texts before you send them. Speaking from experience, you’ll be thankful you did!
And if someone really is being rude take a deep breath, wait until you can respond with a clear mind, and pray for them. Every person we come in contact with is a lesson for us to learn. Maybe they will build us up and encourage us, but sometimes people are there to challenge you and push you to become a better version of yourself.
It’s not all about us. More people need to hear this. Yes, you are awesome. But you have your gifts and talents for a purpose, not to brag about them. Use your abilities for the common good, and help people through them. It’s amazing how doing something for other people can make you a better person and teach you so much.
You are worth fighting for. If no one in your life has told you that you are worthy of the utmost respect, let me be the first. Now don’t go strutting around with your nose in the air expecting people to bow in your presence. But do respect others in a way that compels them to treat you like a lady. You should spend less and less time with anyone who does not do this, because ain’t nobody got time fo’ negativity, girlfriend.
No matter how old you are, there will be times when you don’t feel like enough. Well guess what? You are. Even if you can’t see it. Your beauty and personality are unique and unrepeatable. Your true friends will see that and love you not for how you act of what you do, but because of who you are.
You have the ability to change someones life – don’t ever forget that. You are a powerful witness to the good in the world if you allow yourself to see the good around you and reveal it to others.
Dream big, and never forget this: You are beautiful. Don’t compare. Don’t judge. It’s about other people too. And you’re worth fighting for.
Now go get ’em!
P.S. What else would you tell the modern lady? Follow me on Facebook, Twitter, and Bloglovin’ – and tell me there or in the comments (or an email!) what you would say!
This past week I worked with the Missionaries of Charity in St. Louis while on spring break. There were 7 girls total who went from Benedictine to spend time with the sisters and serve with them on a mission trip.
I didn’t know what to expect. None of us did. As the trip leader, I had spoken with the sisters multiple times about details. We knew they had a soup kitchen and shelter for women, but didn’t know how the week would actually pan out. Thankfully, everyone went with the flow.
As we pulled up last Saturday, we thought we had the wrong address. The building was old and in a sketchy area with a wire fence. It was the right building though. This is the poorest area I’ve ever worked in. Buildings were falling apart. There are so many people who are homeless or barely getting by all around the sisters.
During the week we got up at 4:30am to get to morning prayer with the sisters followed by a half hour of meditation, a break to make breakfast for the ladies in the shelter, then Mass. Then we’d head to the soup kitchen to help with food preparation, serving, and clean up. It was beautiful to see all the volunteers that came throughout the week to help. After that was all cleaned up there was noon prayer and then time for lunch (and resting which almost never happened 🙂 ) until adoration which went from 2-3. As soon as that was over, we worked in the after-school program until about 6ish when everything was cleaned up. We made our own food during the week, so we took time before evening prayer (at 7) to make dinner. After that, we finished up any projects the sisters had given us and tried to get to bed around 9/9:30ish when lights were supposed to be out.
Exhausted just reading that? It was around 3 hours of prayer and 6 hours of apostolate work each day. We went to a psychiatric ward, nursing home, and refugee camp to pass out food and/or pray too. And all that’s not counting a bunch of other things we did. It felt so good to get so much done and collapse at the end of the day.
Group picture!
At one point during the week, one of the sisters just kind of smiled at us and asked if we ever thought we could be that tired. Nope, probably not. On Tuesday we were completely pooped, but that didn’t stop us. We still got up early and worked hard. After all, it’s what the sisters do every day. Could we not do it for a week?
The sisters were so inspiring. Each of them was from a completely different country and culture, but they worked so well together. They truly try to “serve Jesus in disguise” like Mother Teresa taught. It’s kind of hard to put into words what it was like. I mean, they got up at 4:40 every morning and are completely dedicated to following God’s will. They don’t advertise their needs. But they told us if we needed anything to let them know and they would pray about it. And guess what? They are immensely blessed with their volunteers and supplies that are donated.
You know how people sometimes say that in serving others they were helped more than the people they helped? Well, that sounds kind of confusing, but hopefully you get the picture. That’s how I felt this week.
Sure, we served meals and helped create a safe place for kids in troubled homes to come to after school. But I feel like my life was changed more than theirs.
It was blissful to be away from the internet and homework. I ignored thoughts of my to-do list until heading back. I sent only a few texts. It was glorious! Of course it wasn’t fun to get back to over 200 emails, buuuut it was nice while it lasted. I think I’ll institute a technology-free day from now on.
Although I was physically exhausted by the end of each day, praying with the sisters reminded me why we were there: to serve Jesus in the poorest of the poor. And we did. But at the same time Jesus used the time to ask us to dig deeper than that and become closer to him. He was so present in our work. The sisters recognize how blessed they are, and their trust in God is so deep. It was amazing.
They were smiling all the time and cracking up (especially one of the sisters who was hilarious). It just goes to show how following Christ with abandon truly does bring immense joy.
On Friday when I was in the chapel praying the sister’s apostolate prayer with everyone before serving the soup kitchen meal, it kind of hit me. There was Jesus, hanging on the cross with the words “I THIRST” right beside him. He thirsts for me. For you. As much as we all have the desire to love and be loved, Jesus longs for each one of us individually. He already died for us, and now desires that we love him in return. But not just love him. Most of us can claim we love him. But the sisters this last week showed me what following Christ with total abandon looks like. Their trust in him is complete.
I was so inspired by the simplicity of their lives (take their chapel with nearly no furniture for example, the lack of washers/dryers, and no internet). Jesus is their reason and cheerleader for their work, and is always present in their lives.
The chapel had a couple chairs for the oldest sisters and a bench in back for books. Hello floor! We were great friends for the week.
The sisters surprised us at the end of the week by giving us each a 2nd and 3rd degree relic of Mother Teresa, including miraculous medals she actually touched.
*sigh*
It was such a beautiful week and I am so thankful for the opportunity to refocus my life.
How cool is that?!?! We were all excited about the table and had to take pictures at it 🙂
Jesus, thank you for the beautiful sisters in St. Louis who opened their home to us and were so generous during this mission trip. Please bless each of the ladies in the shelter and kids in the after school program and help them to encounter your love through the Missionaries of Charity. Keep the sisters safe. Thank you for showing me the beauty of your love in action, and help me to never forget to love you in the poorest of the poor, whoever that might be each day. Use me to be a light to those I come in contact with, and please give me the grace to be a witness to the joy your love brings. Most of all, thank you for showing me this week that your love is deeper than anything I could ever imagine and you are infinitely deserving of my love. You don’t demand it, but you thirst for it. Help me to satiate your thirst by loving you and serving you in those I come in contact with not just on mission trips, but in the beauty of the little moments every day of my life.
P.S. Read the I THIRST meditation here. Just do it. And then share it with your friends!
A Drop in the Ocean 