I have somewhat neglected participating in this series because it feels strange publishing things on topics I only talk about with family and girlfriends and such. But I figure it doesn’t hurt. Maybe someone I know will read something good and benefit from it, and if not . . . what’s the big deal? Not much. So! This weeks topic is: Marriage.
Most of us here feel called to the vocation of marriage…but what is it exactly that you’re attracted to? What have you seen in others’ marriages that you’ve learned from or would do differently?
I’ve always loved playing with kids. I babysat and watched my siblings and led things for kids in high school. It only seemed natural to assume I would get married.
But then I went to a seriously Catholic college.
I actually have to do this whole discerning thing.
How does that work? What the heck was I supposed to do? I don’t want to be a nun! What does this mean? Holy cow I’m going to die, I’m so not sure now! Somebody tell me for crying out loud!
That lasted a couple minutes.
Then I put my big girl panties on (it’s a metaphor, people!) and found out that to discern you really have to look at what the options require, look at your talents and abilities and characteristics and see what matches the most.
It became very clear to me that I
would die am not suited for religious life. It’s hard to describe why or how I knew/know. I just know.
It’s not like I expect to find Prince Charming and run off into the sunset. I know marriage isn’t easy. And I think that’s kind of why it’s appealing to me, strangely. I like a challenge. Promising to love a person through the good and bad until you die is a pretty big deal. You’re vowing to live for the good of this person until you DIE. Whoa. But at the same time, the other person vows to love you in return. And if you put God at the root of your relationship, you’re a cord of three strands (which it says somewhere in the Bible is not easily broken). How awesome is that?
I never, ever, want to live alone in my entire life. I want to share my life with another person, and I hope to someday bring kids into the world if that’s the plan (eh, God?). Marriage requires that you give love unconditionally, and your mutual love create this trinity-mirroring sacred kind of love that God grants to people through the awesome sacrament of marriage. And your spouse vows to love you unconditionally in return.
If I though about it more, there are probably deeper reasons, but that’s it for now. I am thankful to have beautiful examples of people who have made marriage work (both sets of grandparents for almost 54 years, parents for 25). If it’s what God has in store, then I’ll pray for the grace to accept all the challenges and beauty it gives. And until then? I’ll keep on praying for the grace to live my current vocation gracefully.