Dear America: A few words on Brittany and suffering

~ Laura ~ 7 Comments

Brittany Maynard: 29 years old. Newlywed. Brain cancer. Plans to take lethal medication. Watch this video if you don’t know the details.

It’s a sad situation, quite honestly. She’s dying. It’s something I’ve been wanting to write about for a while, but it’s hard to find the words to write about a woman who is choosing to kill herself to forgo suffering. So read this. It’s more moving that anything I could write. And now a few words to my fellow Americans.

Dear Americans,

Lately I’ve heard a lot of talk about Brittany – a beautiful young woman whose life is being cut short by a malignant brain tumor. It seems unfair that a person with so much potential should be taken from us, doesn’t it? Just in the prime of her life, and newly married, it’s not what she expected out of life. So Brittany plans to take her own life on November 1st.

And you – my dear Americans who value our freedom so much – are lauding her as a hero for freeing herself from suffering. I can see what you’re saying – really I can. If I knew I only had a few months to live, I would want to spend time surrounded by my loved ones too. I would go on adventures and make sure to be on good terms with God.

That’s why it makes me sad to see you passing Brittany off as a hero. She is undeniably suffering a great deal, and we should commend her for the strength she does have. But what defines us in the face of adversity is not getting rid of the adversity.

What defines us in these moments as we’re tempted to choose between “Bring it! I can do this” and “Screw this, I’m leaving” is our attitude toward the adversity, and our resolve to do what is right – to push ourselves past our limits and pursue the greatness we were made for. When training for athletic events, we see people who push themselves and we think “Wow! Good for them! Look how hard they worked!”. And when we see people give up and cuss the treadmill for being so cruel, we see weakness.

So why is this situation different?

With all due respect to Brittany and her family, running away from suffering is not an act of courage. Suffering is scary, my goodness of course it is. That’s why we wallow in the comfort of iPhones and relativism . . . and self-induced death when faced with prolonged suffering. But running away from it shows that we let that fear control us.

As the quote goes, “Courage is not the absence of fear, but rather the judgement that something else is more important than fear.” I firmly believe that Brittany’s life, and any human life, is bigger and more important than any bit of fear we might have. It’s hard to crush the human spirit when the human spirit is resolved to soldier on. But when we give up, we give fear of the unknown the license to kill our dreams and ambitions. Why are we treating this as an act of courage?

Certainly Brittany’s life is not what she expected. But friends, how can we commend her for destroying the most precious thing she possesses – her life?

Instead, let’s encourage anyone going through suffering to look adversity in the face and say “I will not give up hope – I will fight until the bitter end”. It’s hard to imagine the pain Brittany is going through, and I do have compassion for her. I simply encourage you to look at the story of Rachel’s friend and consider which approach would challenge you to more virtue: facing suffering head on, or throwing your hands up and giving up when life gets hard.

Matt Walsh had an interesting take on this saying:

“Every noble ideal — justice, fairness, equity, compassion, charity — all of it, all of it, is grounded in the notion that life, human life, has intrinsic value. Not value according to its usefulness, or value according to convenience, or value according to how enjoyable it is. Value. Life is valuable because it is life. If you deny this, then you deny everything. There is no reason for justice, fairness, equity, compassion, or charity if human life has no value, or merely a value contingent upon whatever parameters we’ve arbitrarily assigned.”

And this is why I’m saying we shouldn’t be treating Brittany as a hero: because her life is so valuable that we don’t want her to throw away any of the time she has left by giving up. We should be praying for her and her family too. Please do join me in that. And lets show the beauty of resolving ourselves to courage in times of adversity.

No matter what our lives end up becoming, it’s probably not going to be what we expect. And if we want to leave a legacy of courage, may we always strive to “[l]ook at hopelessness in the face and say: ‘We are simply not meant to be together.’ Hold courage’s hand and walk away” to whatever our tomorrow brings.

To Life,

signature

P.S. Connect with me on Facebook, Twitter, Pinterest, Bloglovin’ or by email!

 

I came. I saw. I (actually, kind of) conquered.

~ Laura ~ 2 Comments

Fitness Humor

Soon after making September’s goals, our topic for the Wilberforce Leadership Fellowship conference call was success and failure. In the last year or so, I’ve become very goal oriented. They help keep me on track. And they keep me busy. But them this reading helped me to see goals and success in a new light:

It talked about how “many of us picture success as looking like someone other than who we are”, saying many people strive for the wealth of Bill Gates, intelligence of Albert Einstein, athletic ability of Michael Jordan, and the heart of Mother Teresa. But “[y]ou would be a bad imitation of them, and you would eliminate the possibility of becoming the person you were meant to be”

Whoa, Nelly. And not only that:

“If you make happiness your goal, you are almost certainly destined to fail.”

“It has never come as the result of possessing something.”

Ultimately, success is a journey, it says. It’s when you know your purpose in life, grow to reach your maximum potential, and sow seeds along the way which benefit others.

measureofsuccess

Mind. Blown.

Honestly, it doesn’t sound like a very difficult concept. So why did it have such an impact on me?

Well, I stopped caring if I met every single goal, and I started caring more about moving in the right direction and mastering things in my life. Something I’ve been wanting to master for a long time is discipline. Just being a disciplined person. I have good self control when it come to not doing things. But making myself actually do things is harder. So when I made the goal of working out 3 times a week and setting a specific time to get up, I laughed a little inside my head.

But I actually did it!

I got up by 6:15 every weekday morning (except one) last month. It’s not because I’m amazing. Nope. One morning at the beginning of the month, I actually FELL ASLEEP on top of hand weights on the couch after about 20 minutes of working out. Yup. You can laugh 🙂

Other than that stellar moment in time, I get up (with a suitemate, which makes it easier) and out the door to work out for about 45 minutes. On days when we come back to torture ourselves do strength, abs, and toning, we go a bit shorter. We get up about an hour before the sun rises. Campus is dead.

And it is amazing.

What I’ve realized is that being disciplined and accomplishing things is not about being amazing. I fail at a lot of things. But everything I do is a choice. I could choose to sleep later and not workout. I could choose to go to bed earlier and not be tired.

But I choose to make myself get up and get going no matter what. I choose to do this because I know it is good for me. And guess what? I really enjoy it now. Choosing to do what is good is hard to start out with, because often it’s uncomfortable. It’s hard to create a new habit. But sacrifice, hardship, and pushing ourselves causes us to become more fully the person we have the potential to be. It’s a choice.

So that’s why I choose to keep going back.

Every time we go, I more fully master being disciplined. I say “no” to spending quality time with my bed, and “yes” to workin’ my body. And getting stronger. Through the grace of God (because ya’ll know it’s not possible to keep up something with just your tiny bit of willpower), I have conquered selfish desires. In case you’re wondering, I left them at the gym 😉

We started out going to the track, and I loved the wind and seeing the sunrise. Now we go to the gym and come back to our suite to do strength stuff. My shirts actually get soaked through with sweat, which feels like an accomplishment. Most days I do an elliptical, but sometimes a tredmill. And guess what? Today I was able to run for longer than I ever have before. My weights are too light now, so I need to get heavier ones.

Exhilarating.

Empowering.

Enlightening.

This month I discovered that I can push myself to do more than I thought possible. I can run faster, do more reps, and go longer than ever before. I can do it. It’s possible. As long as you keep focused on why you’re doing it (ie. becoming a better person, not being all sexy or something like that). And you know what? Maybe there’s something you think is impossible. Maybe you’re discouraged. Maybe you’ve been wanting to do something for a long time, but have been putting it off.

May I offer a short piece of advice?

JUST DO IT.

darmightythings

The beginning is the hardest part. But then you realize it’s possible. You can do it. You can choose to do it. That’s the exhilarating part where you realize what you’re capable of. Then when you realize that you are in control, you’re empowered to push yourself to new places and challenge yourself. And then viola! Suddenly you realize your potential.

Hey, pretty soon I’ll be able to “drop and give you 20”. And by the end of the year I want to be able to jog/run a 5k. It’s sounds crazy now, but hey. I’m choosing to take the first step.

Will you join me? Tell me about something BIG you want to do, and let’s break it down into the first step you can make now to move toward it. It might not be easy, but it will be worth it. And, hey. All it takes is one choice to get you moving in the right direction.

To Life,

signature

P.S. Connect with me on Facebook, Twitter, Pinterest, Bloglovin’ or by email!

 

 

September Goal Review #LikeABoss

~ Laura ~ 2 Comments

You know that moment when you do something you never thought possible? Gosh, it feels good. But “good” can’t even do September justice.

Before this past month, I hadn’t experienced that a whole lot. Sure, the adrenaline from swim races, performing in musicals, and lots of other awesome moments. But this past month was different.

I made goals. I didn’t stick to all of them (go figure), but the ones I did stick to have completely changed how I live my life. It’s changed the way I make choices, and what I let dictate how I spend my time. And I am so excited to share them with you!

Here is the wrap up on each category from September (saving best for last, so read all the way through.)

Prayer

1. Find a morning offering or devotional of some sort.

Blessed is She – daily readings with a devotion. Yay! The only way I could see it be better is if it included an action item of some sort.

2. Find examen to say before bed.

Thank you Pinterest.

The Daily Examen, an introspective prayer done at the end of the day, in 6 Simple Steps.

3. Sign up for adoration 2x week.

Done! We also go to a holy hour on Saturdays (most weeks), so it’s almost 3 hours/week. #LikeABoss

4. Do stations of the cross on Fridays.

Nope. Didn’t do it once. HOWEVER, we are doing a chaplet of divine mercy on Fridays as part of 40 Days for Life. Yay.

 

Academics

1. Write down assignments in my planner when I find out about them.

Somewhat followed. I didn’t forget any, so yay!

2. Check planner everyday.

Didn’t really follow this. But since I wasn’t forgetting assignments, I’m okay with that.

3. Buy a stock of post-it’s to put each assignment on, and write them down.

See last one.

 

Computer Usage

1. Put my laptop on my desk, and only sit there to be on it (unless I am taking it out of the suite to work on it).

After realizing how uncomfortable my desk is for me (hello short legs), I decided to nix this one. Perhaps it shall be revisited, but not at the moment.

2. Gradually check emails less. By the end of September, be checking them three times a day.

Not as cray cray about checking emails, but remembering to count when I check them is not happening…

3. Check Facebook only twice a day.

See above.

4. Go to my Google Alerts for news instead of social media. Add two new alerts.

Yes! I added in a death penalty and stem cell research alert (scintillating, I know). Any ideas for things to keep up on?

 

Reading & Writing

1. Find 15 minutes a day to read a non-school book. Focus on one at a time.

I started reading Pro-Life Feminism and I Believe in Love, but the 15 minute thing didn’t work out so hot.

2. Write one non-link-up post a week here or for Live Action News.

Whoa! Thought I failed this one, but I wrote 3:

The time is now (ie. get off yo butt and get a move on!)

Holiness from Calcutta (because Mother Teresa is a BOSS)

It’s the little things . . . (ie. the one no one read that’s about doing things. Ironic?)

 

And now . . . Fitness & Health

I’m not going into huge detail because there’s a whole post coming on this. Moral of the story? You’re gonna have to come back here tomorrow!

1. Look for a 5k to do before Christmas.

There’s a “wear something crazy from a thrift store” 5k going on in a couple weeks, so I’m debating doing that. We’ll see!

2. Find two new healthy snacks to keep in my dorm room instead of traditional unhealthy ones.

Funny how I haven’t touched the like 10 bags of popcorn in my stash. I started out with hummus and carrots. Now I have beans (“refried” in my crockpot!) and I do an egg for breakfast. Yay non-junk food! We also went to the local farmer’s market which was delightful. Who knew real vegetables actually exist in Atchison?!?!

3. Work out three times a week, and find a consistent time that works.

If you had told me a couple months ago I’d be getting up well before the sun every weekday to subject my muscles to strenuous activity, I would have laughed. Like big time. Are you crazy?

But now I’m like:

f8f5e-237161_1257739195062-8res_284_320

 

I’m a month into this, and it only takes 21 days to form a habit, right? I can’t imagine NOT getting up by 6:15am now. Sometimes (actually pretty often) I wake up before my alarm. And it’s pitch black. I go the the gym on campus and make my fat cry (because that’s what sweat is, right?) every morning during the week. It is gloriously gross. I drip sweat. I soak shirts. 2-3 days a week we come back and do strength stuff as well, so it’s not just cardio. And I feel AMAZING.

And to hear the rest of my story (’cause ya’ll know there’s more), you’re just going to have to wait until tomorrow. Mwahahahaha.

4. Since my commitments start at 9am M-F, set a consistent time to wake up.

6:15am, brotha. Unless the 6am bells wake me up. Or the lightning. Or I just wake up randomly at 5:51.

 

And there you have my September! Classes are easier than last year, but life is still rather demanding. And I’m okay with that. I’m learning a lot, trying to grow as a person, and really enjoying this time in my life.

Stay tuned, because I have a lot more to say! What do you have to say? How is your life going? Can I pray for something that’s going on right now? Grab a cup of coffee and let’s chat!

To Life,

signature

 

 

 

P.S. Connect with me on Facebook, Twitter, Pinterest, Bloglovin’ or by email!

It’s the little things . . .

~ Laura ~ 1 Comment

It’s a wonderful thing to be pro-life. It’s better to talk with people about it and be educated. Even better? Live your life in a way where it’s clear what your priorities are. Be pro-life in every fiber of your being in the way you love and show compassion.

Which category do you fall under?

Sometimes I get frustrated because so many people fall under the first category – maybe the second.

As a student at a Catholic college, it’s nice that the majority of people here see the core of this issue in the same way as me. We know life is important, and yadda yadda yadda. We’re heard it all. Yay babies.

That’s great, but the fact is that our lives show what our priorities are. It’s disheartening to me to see so many people go on the March for Life, pose for cute pro-life pictures, but then never join us for other events. Never come outside clinics. Never learn to sidewalk counsel. Never come to an abortion dialogue workshop. Never respond to emails about getting involved. Never experience a life-changing moment where your witness touched someone.

It makes me sad sometimes because I have experienced what you’re missing out on.

This movement is a movement of love, and being part of it radically changed my life. I cannot begin to comprehend how much time I have devoted to this cause, and honestly there’s no way it’s going to stop. This is what I do and it’s part of who I am. But could you join me sometimes?

Show us what you believe in the little moments of everyday – don’t just post about it. Don’t just do the cute stuff, because that’s too easy. Join me in the behind the scenes work that no one sees, because in my experience, that’s where your true character shows. Let your feet speak for you sometimes. Let your life show others what you believe in. It’s easy to hold signs and march. Believe me, because I’ve done it. And it’s great to march and hold signs and post things. But it’s not enough. Being pro-life is about being pro-ALL-life.

So show me.

Join me.

I dare you.

f8f5e-237161_1257739195062-8res_284_320Come pray with us. Did you know 40 Days for Life begins on today? Join us for abortion clinic trips. Who needs sleep anyway? Come to our meetings. Join us for our ice cream social. Contribute your talents. None of us can do everything, but we can all do something. And together our little actions add up to a movement bigger than ourselves.

Not everyone is going to jump completely into this movement, but we’re all called to be part of it somehow. Maybe you could design graphics, bake for us, write for us, or be a prayer warrior. As a student now, you have time to do more than you will at any other point of time. So stop procrastinating and join us. Participate in 40 Days for Life. Come to senior center trips. Whatever it is, show me. Dare to do something great, because good just isn’t enough.

We were made for greatness. Now let’s get down to business.

To Life,

signature

P.S. Connect with me on Facebook, Twitter, Pinterest, Bloglovin’ or by email!

NAS: Chivalry is not dead

~ Laura ~ 3 Comments

Chivalry should not become a lost art and we, as women, ought to step up to the plate a bit more and encourage men to treat us as women, thereby respecting them as men. Do you have tips, ideas, or stories to encourage men to be… men?! Open doors for us, initiate dates, honor us as women, etc? Let’s chat!

Whoever says that chivalry is a lost art is not at a good Catholic college.

When I got here, all of a sudden I felt like I didn’t have to open doors anymore. What is this madness?! Maybe chivalry wears off a bit in college (because it’s not quite the same now), but it still happens rather often. It’s interesting because I’ve noticed girls opening doors for each other as well.

I’ve heard girls here get offended at guys for doing this, and that makes me sad. I’m not a guy, so I can’t tell you exactly how that feels, but I feel like it’s an insult to his man card to shun him for doing something nice. I’m guessing that this attitude from women is a major reason why guys stop being chivalrous sometimes. We don’t know the exact reason why guys do chivalrous things, but I think it’s the least we could to do politely say “thank you” and recognize it. Unless he’s blatantly accusing you of being a weak woman, I’m fairly certain he was just trying to be nice.

Last week I was struggling to carry a heavy box of pudding across campus to our Ministry Fair. (If you were wondering, yes, 144 little pudding cups can be VERY heavy folks. And we were handing them out at the Ravens Respect Life booth with pro-life stickers on them.) A friend and I were riding the struggle bus lugging around said pudding when a guy across the parking lot offered to carry it for us. He did not question said pudding, or even ask how far he would need to go. Plus, he was carrying some raw chicken (Walmart run?) and a drink. So! We exchanged loot and he saved the day by carrying it across campus.

Sir Pudding

I think that was a rather chivalrous thing to do. We certainly could have managed (because we’re strong independent women, you know *HINT:sarcasm*), but it was a kind thing to offer. In this case, we probably did look crazy while breaking a sweat moving pudding. We kind of did need help. But even if we didn’t really need help, it is nice to have it. Even for something as simple as a door.

Moving off my soap box!

What can we do to encourage chivalry? Say thank you. We all appreciate being appreciated. And positive reinforcement encourages repetition of the good action.

And in the nicest way possible, expect this of the guys you hang out with. Guys, if you walk a step ahead to catch the door, that is awesome. If you pick something up that we drop (not dropping to get your attention, but legit dropping something), that’s nice too. And carrying things like above raw-chicken-man is rather appreciated as well.

We can’t go around with our noses in the air expecting every man to bow at our words and heed every request. Chivalry requires mutual respect. That’s why it’s important that:

1. Guy initiates chivalrous deed because he wants to be nice or legitimately help a damsel in pudding distress.

2. Girl recognizes said action and reinforces exemplary behavior.

3. Both above actions are taken so both guy and girl leave the situation feeling appreciated and respected.

To encourage men to act as chivalrous men, we have to act like respectful women. Better yet, just be a respectful person in general. When people go out of their way to be nice, say thank you. We as women have the power to raise standards or leave guys stranded wondering what the heck we expect of them. Expect chivalry by demonstrating the same amount of kindness, and people around you will notice.

Are you one of those people who gets mad when we talk about chivalry? Why or why not? Do you feel respected or belittled as a woman? If you’re a guy, what can women do to encourage you? Let the conversation being!

To Life,

To Life,

signature

 

 

 

P.S. Connect with me on Facebook, Twitter, Pinterest, Bloglovin’ or by email!

P.P.S. Thanks to Jen and Morgan for hosting this series!